Created  Sun. Feb. 14, 2010,   updated Feb. 19, 2010

Educating Your Child


Sub-headings:
Itís Your Responsibility!
Individual Assignments Are Better
The Suzuki Method
Social Skills?
Teaching Restraint and Kindness
The Fruits of a Bad Harvest
Home Schoolers Perform Much Better
Lessons They Don't Teach
These are New Below!

God Appoints Parents Over ALL
Peer Pressure on Kids
A Brave New World (just kidding)
Independence Is Vital to Survival

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At some time back around 2002, if not earlier, I had written an article on Home Schooling. To my surprise just the other day, I go looking for this article and it is no where to be found in the last 6 years. I did find my old Microsoft Word doc with the article. So I now present that, updated slightly, today. As I see it, Real Christians will Home School their kids. It is essential. You'll see!


Deuteronomy 6:
6 And these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart. 
7 And you shall teach them to your sons, and shall speak of them as you sit in your house, and as you walk in the way, and as you are lying down, and as you are rising up.

Deuteronomy 11:
18 And you shall lay these words up in your hearts, and in your souls, and shall bind them for a sign on your hand. And they shall be for frontlets between your eyes.
19 And you shall teach them to your sons by speaking of them as you sit in your house, and as you go in the way, and as you lie down, and as you rise up.

From the days of Adam to the days of Moses and many times after, God commanded His people to teach their children about their God. Not necessarily in a formal setting such as a classroom but at all times, such as the ones described in the previous scriptures above. It is our solemn duty to teach and instruct our kids in regards to all aspects of obedience to God. That means all Godís laws, commandments, and principles. Morals, culture, values, ethics, standards, and anything else you can imagine.

I also want to point out the obvious, or at least, it should be obvious and yet is not, that this is one of those few accounts in the law of Moses where it is or should be clear that verse 18 is figurative and symbolic. How do you lay words up in your heart? How do you bind words? God was alluding to the things a priest at the temple wore. The ephod (a sort of vest) over the chest/heart! We would keep words in our hearts, our center and deepest core, so to speak; what is most important to us. In fact, our whole bodies are covered so to speak, with the words of God. On our wrists and between our eyes, even as the priests wore such things there.

The ways of God were to saturate our lives in every aspect. His ways were to be our ways. And it was very important to instill this in our kids. It is a major requirement of God and a serious responsibility that every parent has. Anyone not obeying God, will surely have no place in God's Kingdom.

I might also add that we can not teach what we do not know. So we must seek out the knowledge wisdom of God ourselves, before we can give it to our kids.


Itís Your Responsibility!
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We do not have the right to pass this responsibility on to others and neglect it ourselves. God gave this responsibility only and directly to the parents of a child. That is not to say that formal schooling has no place or usefulness. I believe that it does, in respects to secondary or specialized education in a particular field.  But it should be a supplement to a full curriculum or agenda of the parents. Now in previous ages and eras, farming and agriculture, or the tending of herds of animals, or hunting wild game, was the primary practical knowledge that a father gave to his kids to enable them to survive.

A father who worked a trade would also teach that to his sons. But in the age of the industrial revolution, passing on a trade or the farm was no longer always the option. Life changed and jobs were apt to be different and kids might have the chance to learn entirely new professions. Employers might give them what training they need in that respect. Apprenticeships were also another way of learning a job as well.

But then we institutionalized education so that everyone could get one. That was what we were given as an excuse, anyway. There were some who benefited from this. But many, even most, were already receiving a good education from their parents on the primary subjects of reading, writing, and arithmetic. But I believe there were other objectives in encouraging parents to give up their duties to the government. It enables the government to influence the kids as they would like, rather than as the parents would like. It was as if the government was the true owner of the kids.

Part of this is the result of our current educational system. There was a time when children of all ages learned together in a small classroom in one small building or just from their parents before formal education was established in this country. But then those who were elected to represent us decided to treat education like manufacturing and mass educate kids. We build very large multi room buildings to house many children from all over the place. This centralization was seen as beneficial. I donít see it myself. I think it was a move to ensure more control over the education process and to make sure all kids got indoctrinated the same way on a mass scale.

At this point, I must introduce you to John Taylor Gatto (links to his site) and his book, the most important book written in the Industrial age and maybe of the last 1000 years. Called: The Underground History of American Education." It can be read for free but I recommend the book so you can underline and read it whenever convenient. Gatto will show you the many places where the sinister goals of the elite were openly published and still available in archives. They no doubt figured no one other than their own would ever bother to read this crap. But Gatto is a thorough researcher who is passionate about what he does. John Gatto also strongly urges Home Schooling as well.

The real purpose of education was to control how much of it we got, to minimize how much we got; you might say they ration it out in meager portions, and control who knows what, reserving the most important things for only a few elite types. They wanted to keep us blind and ignorant, knowing just enough to be useful without being dangerous. As a result, students began getting more dumb rather than more smart, with this schooling. The real purpose was to condition kids, not educate them.

Then in 1964, the ruthlessness became more prominent and accelerated as they got rid of good teachers who taught far more than what their bosses wanted them to, and replaced them with those who would obey and teach what they were told and nothing more. It started with big city schools and later reach small town America. And then they let discipline go to hell so that kids would be intentionally destroyed so that they would never be a threat to the system or be able to concentrate and actually learn.

As well, kids are indoctrinated in the wonderful plans our benevolent leaders have in store for us, so that the kids would be good little robots and repeat the party line of their comrades and not get out of line. Over time, they have managed to create kids who think nothing like their parents. In large part, this is the fault of the parents, who left all education to the schools instead of keeping it for themselves and teaching it themselves.

So we have reaped what we have sown. We let everyone do everything for us. Someone else often does our cooking at restaurants and delicatessens. Someone else fixes our cars, treats our illnesses, takes away our trash, grows and produces our food, repairs our houses or apartments, handles our legal affairs, does our books and taxes. We do not have to do a thing for ourselves and we would not know how to, anyway, in most instances. This is how the elite wanted it so that we would be dependant upon their system to survive and then they can threaten us with being cut off if we do not behave by their standard of behavior.

That is where we now stand, dependant upon everyone and everything and doing almost nothing for ourselves. What a great system, huh? Someone knew what they were doing, eh?


Individual Assignments Are Better
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It is true that kids of the same age tend to progress at somewhat similar levels in most regards emotionally, but not quite as much intellectually. My opinion is that kids need individual instruction and need to learn and be advanced according to the progress they make individually and not all herded at the same pace. If a student is bright and eager, let them move more quickly. If they are slow, instruct them more carefully and allow them to grow as they will. But we prefer, or someone somewhere prefers, to herd them all and keep them all at the same slow stupid level. I believe the education process has been sabotaged.

If each went at their own pace, you would see different ages mixed into different subjects. Some gifted kids go to college at 11 or 12 when most are 18 or older. This is quite appropriate and more natural. In the real world and the work place, brilliant young people will often work right along side old veterans. This is as it should be. But we have been conditioned by our school system to think only in terms of the same age. It is wrong and needs to be corrected. Kids donít need plenty of kids their own precise age to associate with. Just the opposite.

Indeed, the laws exist in most states that give the state and/or the federal government a vested interest in the protection and care of a child. This seems good on the surface until you broaden what is necessary for a childís interest. So they now define what is acceptable to teach a child about morals and if you tell them a certain life style or behavior is wrong, the government may decide you are an unfit parent and take your kids from you. I believe it should be clear in the law that governments can only rescue a child from extreme neglect or physical danger that is clearly proven in a public process with due process of law.

As it stands right now in Maine and many other states, abuse has become a quite trivial in its requirements, and investigation is done behind the backs of the parents and the whole process often takes place with no due process of law, often not even having any proof, either. You are guilty till proven innocent. I can not believe there is any good reason or intention behind this common procedure. We truly live in a very wicked world. In fact, you do not have to be guilty of any violation. They can simply decide you are not providing enough luxuries for your children, where each can have their own room or whatever. Or they may find the complaint was false but will not give the kids back anyway. Now they will dictate all sorts of terms that are not law or required, but they will require them anyway, and no lawyer or judge will bother them (DHS/CPS agents) as they do so. Its a fact and I got lots of evidence if you want it!

Anyway, our kids should be ours to train and raise as we see fit. We have not benefited by allowing others to take on that responsibility for us. We have lost much, instead. Too much! Christians have every right to do everything legal in their power to retain their rights to do as they please within reason to keep and teach their children as they see fit. It is they who produced the children, and care and provide for them, so it is they, who should have all rights to the kids, with the exception of great extremes of abuse.

If several kids sleep in the same room, it is no big deal. It is not the law. If they don't get to eat steak, twice a week, it should be your business, not that of the state. If you want to teach God's law, that is your right, and the state has no business saying otherwise. It is we who pay the bills for our kids, not the government. So we should get to say what the kids get or do not. If the government wants to program your kids or attempt to, make them pay for the upkeep, right? And without taxing you for it, which is basically making you pay while they play and brain wash your kids.

So it took a long time for us to fully realize the serious consequences of us turning over the teaching of our kids to others. Many still do not realize the consequences. But if you are alert, awake, and aware of what is going on, then you should able to see that Godís requirement that parents teach their kids, makes sense. They are our responsibility alone and no one elseís. That would even include the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, that are necessary in todayís world for survival. Beyond the basics of high school, then a secondary education could be pursued so that employment in specialized areas could be obtained.


The Suzuki Method
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Suzuki was a pioneer in teaching children in Japan to play the violin. Whether he was a psychologist or just a teacher, he found that the most effective way to teach a child to play was by parental example. Children preferred learning from the parents and could follow the parentís example as they played. Suzuki also recommended learning to actually play before they ever bothered to learn how to read music. You start with something simple and learn it well and then move on to something a little more challenging.

Really, these were not great revelations in his method. They were kind of obvious. But Suzuki felt kids would progress faster if they followed the parents as the parents learned to play. The parents would set the good example and pace, and the kids would happily follow along. It was also effective because everyone was involved in the same thing and doing it together, making it much more fun. Kids do not learn well in an independent environment. Parental involvement changed it all.

I definitely believe in the Suzuki method. It makes perfect sense. It is not a crime to not know something. But it is a crime to not want to learn and grow and have your kids learn right along with you. No one is better qualified to teach kids than their parents and kids will have more trust in them and be more willing to learn unless there is abuse and hate in the family. So this is yet another example that reinforces the idea that it should be the parents who teach their kids and not others. The kids want their mom and dad to be their teachers.  

The worst thing a parent can do is to ignore their responsibility to teach their kids. If you do not teach them, then they will have no reason to take it seriously since you do not seem to do it or believe it yourself and teach it yourself. By your not teaching it, it gives the appearance that you do not care or that it is not a big part of your life. Further, if you do not teach them what you want, they will allow someone else to teach and influence them. The schools are not going to teach kids anything except what will benefit the government. That would only be reasonable.

As well, if you let the schools and teachers do it, they then appear like superior authorities, which they are not! They are paid whores, so to speak, who will teach whatever, as long as they are paid for their services. When you teach, you become the authority, as is only proper and right. If you let someone else be the authority, then soon your kids will listen to them and trust them over you. I know. I went to school and my parents often knew little and I came to respect the teachers more than the parents. Of course, because mine were not bright, that helped the situation. Were it not for the schools, I would have leaned far less. But most parents are quite capable and should take on the responsibility. Give it away and you might not ever get it back.

But consider this. The Bible ultimately fingers Satan as the ruler of this world. Satan offered Jesus all the nations of the earth if he would worship Satan. They were Satanís to offer, but Jesus refused. The USA is a nation with goals, interests, and agendas, that are not always the same as Godís. Some would be said to be very much in Satanís interest. Is this who you want teaching your children? If not, then you must accept responsibility for teaching your kids. Otherwise, you are abdicating your responsibility and could be held accountable by God for that.

If you do not teach them something, they will gravitate toward whatever pleases their flesh, in all likelihood. They will go with the flow and ride with the current to wherever it is going. So take actions now.  

It has always been God's will that the parents should be all things to their kids, as duly appointed and authorized to act in place of God as the care-takers of their children, in behalf of God and themselves. Parents provide all material sustenance and covering, shelter. Teachers of knowledge, skill, morals, habits, self-discipline, moderation. Parents provide the food. They provide the love and nurturing. They are all things to their kids.

The general theory behind it all, I suspect, was that while some kids will have rotten parents, maybe even many would, that parents would still offer the most likely chance of looking after the best interests and welfare of their own kids. Most strangers will not have any vested interest in kids that do not belong to them. Many kids who are stolen or enslaved, are treated horribly and used by those who use them selfishly. Parents are the very best chance that kids have. So God mandates all things to the parents, to insure the best interests of the kids.

More and more in our days in the 21st century, the last century, for sure, before God's Kingdom, others care for our kids, provide lessons, meals, child care, recreation, entertainment, and whatever. TV and movies do that, too. So parents are hardly left with anything to do with their own kids, except pay for all the "stranger" care the kids receive. Mom and dad often only serve as taxi drivers, if that. This is the opposite of what God intended, but just what the devil likes. The devil wants to be the parent to your kids. Wha da ya say?!


Social Skills?
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Some say that kids need school to learn social skills. The question I have is how did the world ever manage before formal education was introduced in the 1860ís? I say that is a bunch of crap. They say kids need to learn how to fight and cope. What garbage! Fighting is not a constructive way to do anything. When kids are young, they need protection. They are vulnerable and unskilled at defending themselves from psychological attacks and verbal and physical abuse.

First you teach them proper behavior and then teach them good coping skills, just as the military prepares new recruits in boot camp before they turn them out into the battle. Only after the basic training has been successfully completed do you turn your kids out into the world, fully prepared to meet the challenge of nasty people.

To do so prematurely, would be like ripping a fetus out of the mother at 4 or 5 months, long before it is ready and able to survive out of the womb. The fetus will most likely die or develop serious health problems throughout its life. When it is ready, when it has had a full 9 months, then it is ready for the next level, life outside the womb. It is the same with kids. Give them the shelter they need while young and delicate and they will be ready later when they are more prepared.

People who use the poor lame excuse that kids need socialization are just those who want to continue the brutal psychological torture that many kids endure in school which leaves them scarred for life or even traumatized. Shell shocked kids are usually ineffective and those in power like such sheep who can not effectively function  because of the accumulated psychological scars they have endured. Donít send your kids to those psychological butchering camps. If you do, I seriously question your love for them.

But kids need rounded, well balanced socialization, with all ages. This reflects the real world they will work in, typically upon graduation of high school or college. When I first went to work, almost no one was my age. It felt different but much better. No where near as much judgment or pressure. I liked it much more. Everyone being your own age is artificial and not healthy. There is no one older to learn from, except the sole authority of the teacher. No one younger to bring out a little bit of compassion and a chance to nurture and teach, so that you learn and teach at the same time, which is more like at work.


Teaching Restraint and Kindness
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Here is another aspect of school that is bad and harmful. When children are young, they tend to be much less self conscious. They are not as aware of themselves and what they do as they are when they get older, particularly in adulthood. In addition, their emotions are much stronger, uncontrolled, unrestrained, uninhibited, and often very undisciplined.. As a result, they can be quite cruel or nasty without really being aware of it. They can speak thoughtlessly and hurtfully. Their job, as they get older, is to learn to temper their feelings and their thoughts and words. They learn to give some thought to what they say and how people might take it. At least, they should do this. Some never learn it and are not pleasant to deal with or be around.

So when kids are together, they can exhibit quite a bit of cruelty to other kids. Some kids develop more quickly in a social way and are more socially adept and can be a significant influence on their peers. If they tend toward thoughtlessness and cruelty, they can harm other kids in a big way and have a big impact on others. And kids who are not as socially adept, or who are rather awkward in that respect, or stand out in some unusual way or are rather different than most of their peers; these will often get targeted by kids who are more socially in the norm and more capable in those respects.

This can be very damaging to the kids who are less gifted socially. So that is why kids must be carefully watched and monitored in their youth so as to be able to correct your own kids if they are bullies and teach them why it is wrong and discipline them should they tend to ignore your words of guidance and instruction. Of if your kids are picked on, you can help instruct them on how to be more socially adept and effective so that they can stand up to others better or at least avoid bullies more effectively. But you will need to become aware of how to be socially capable yourself before teaching your kids.

Now this is not done by schools and school teachers and administrators. Their bosses like kids getting bullied as I see it. We are now paying a dear price for neglecting our kids. School shootings, unheard of 20 years ago, are now routine common occurrences all across the USA . Why? Because some kids grew tired of being hurt and picked on and decided to strike back. So literally, our kids lives could depend on learning these people skills of kindness and decency.

That is why home schooling by the parents is the single best way to deal with this problem. They can carefully monitor their kids in smaller numbers where more control can be exercised. Control becomes much more difficult (if not impossible) in larger numbers because it is harder to monitor and watch everyone, as well as guide and instruct each kid as needed. Reducing the number of kids or increasing the number of adult supervisors greatly improves the results. As well, teacher's hands are tied and they are not allowed to discipline and take control. They would be fired if they did.

When the group of kids is small and the parents are involved, then the needs become apparent and can be addressed. That is why it is most important that parents are frequently involved in their childrenís play and in their play with others, who can be invited to play along. Kids do not receive nearly enough involvement with their parents. And kids dearly love the play of their parents with them. I know this from experience. It draws the parents and children closer together and forms a much stronger bond between them.

And it is often at times like these that kids will suddenly bring up things completely unrelated that might be bothering them or occupying their minds. It presents a perfect opportunity to become aware of their concerns and address their concerns. I have often found that what I was least expecting it, kids would suddenly come out with problems, thinking I might be a better source than their parents. But it was because I was out there in the ice or the ball field and not at home hiding behind a newspaper or watching TV.

Of course, our world makes it difficult to spend much time with our children anymore as we spend so much time working. All I can say is do your utmost to reduce your needs to a minimum and increase you time with your kids to a maximum. But they need you to play with them frequently. They will learn as you play and instruct. Often, just your conduct will instruct them without a word from you. You can later talk about things when at home in private.

As I said, schools have yet to grasp the dangers of herding lots of uninhibited and unsupervised kids together where they devour each other. It is not a natural setting to put kids in. Neither is it healthy or advantageous. Donít do it, if you can avoid it.

Lets also look at it this way. When you prepare your meals, do you eat the same thing every meal, every day? Of course not. That would not be healthy and your health would be a disaster in no time. Likewise, when it comes to friend and associations, we benefit most from a variety of ages and experience. The politically correct are always telling us how important diversity is. Well, lets see them buy their own philosophy. When it comes to age, diversity really is the way to go.

Getting socially battered is not socialization. Its conditioning and learning to accept orders and not upset the flock of peers. And try hard to compromise, so that you can fit in and be accepted by the hoards of the mindless. Settling things through fights is not very helpful or useful in the real world, either. Torture is not socialization, it is brutality at its worst. Keep your kids away from that!


The Fruits of a Bad Harvest
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Another problem with leaving the teaching to others is that they often donít teach much themselves. I will illustrate. In the 19th century (1800ís) boys whose families could afford it, typically sent them off to college at 14. The children, men, and women of that era, were extremely literate and even eloquent in their use of the English language. A typical text book of that era for school kids would shame most of us today.

SAT scores and grades have plummeted over the 20th century. One way they have hidden this is by scaling grades so that the best of today is ranked at 100 or A, even if they do not achieve the same high levels that were reached many years ago. When I was in junior high in 1974, this was a common practice. It has become even more prevalent since. So we keep hiding and sweeping under the carpet how little we are teaching and expecting of our kids.

The outcome is obvious and could not be ignored. IF it is happening, and it is, then it can not be by accident. They evidently do not want kids to know much. This would be most beneficial in making sure there is plenty of unskilled labor to work cheap for big companies doing meaningless jobs. Further, they will be ineffective at defending themselves and making their government accountable and responsive to their needs. It is easier to pull the wool over ignorant people than it is to do so over educated ones.

Here is an article that appeared in the Portland ( Maine ) Press Herald, Friday, Feb. 1, 2002, pg. 9A. A tenured professor, one who is supposed to be somewhat protected from being fired so they can pursue intellectual freedom without being compromised, was fired from Temple University in Philadelphia, PA, because he refused to inflate (scale) grades to accommodate poor student performance. Students complained and he was reviewed by 3 faculty committees and found to be ďincompetentĒ for his refusal. That, of course, was a lie. He may have been insubordinate, but not incompetent. He had been teaching for 35 years so I doubt it would take them that long to find out he couldnít really teach effectively.

In addition to requiring the professor to inflate grades, they also wanted him to ďdumb downĒ the curriculum so that students could pass. Well, after all, it is the degree they really want and are paying for. They ought to get something for all that money they are paying, right? So the university attempted to do just that. And since the professor wouldnít get on board, they dumped him.

There are a number of issues here. First, what good is this professor doing if everyone else is scaling and reducing the level of the curriculum? I think he should have obeyed as the rest have. But it concerns me that money is corrupting our educational process and that could have serious consequences. How would you like to have a doctor diagnose and operate on you when he really doesnít know what he is doing? How would you like to work in a building whose designer was not all that good at engineering because he wasnít required to know as much as before? How about that jet you fly on? See how it could all come back to haunt us?

Dumbing down has been going on for years and is no secret at all. But it represents a great danger when we no longer require the rigorous knowledge and skill that has been a part of our past. It could hurt us sooner or later. It can only go so far before we have to add more years of education or accidents start happening a lot more until our society collapses due to complete incompetence. The greatest advantage of insuring that everyone is dumb is that they will not know enough to be effective citizens who properly make their leaders accountable. The few who are smart will not be enough to keep the leaders in line. That is where we are now. But we did not get there overnight.

So if you leave teaching your kids up to someone else, you might not be getting what you think you are. You might be robbing your kids of good teaching. It would sort of be like giving them a diet of empty calories. Before long, they would suffer from malnutrition and die. Well, if their brains are not properly fed, they will be useless to them later in life. If you love your kids, you would not turn them out into life, ignorant, unprepared, and unable to protect themselves.

And by teaching them yourselves, you might actually be giving them a huge head start and advantage over all the other kids who are taught by a school system that is not sincere in teaching them and preparing them for life and is slacking off. If you love your kids, you will teach them. Teaching is as necessary as love. They need both and God obligates you to give both.


Home Schoolers Perform Much Better
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The results are very obvious. Home Schooled (Home Schooled) kids far outperform their public school peers. Home Schooled are much better behaved, more socially adjusted and balanced. You'll have much more time rather than less. Your time with and relationship with your kids will be more and better. In every way, it is superior as God intended it to be.

I hear talk from some parents who say they don't get much time but when they do, its quality time. That's just crap. From my experience, you can not separate quality time from quantity time. Any time should be mostly with your kids, rather than have strangers handle them. The bonds of affection and trust need constantly refreshed and reinforced. Only quantity time does this. You can never predict when questions and discussions will come up. By spending lots of time with them, you will be sure to hit those important times.

Spending time with your kids, done in love, will boost them and in turn, they will be sure to boost you. It will happen automatically. Kids keep us young and balanced, psychologically and spiritually. Parents and children will continually reinforce and sustain each other, again, as God intended all along.

It makes a big difference in life when you come from a family of love and support. You feel confident. You know you always have help waiting if you need it. Home Schooled will always be excellent performers in life because of their solid foundation from their parents and families.

It is a serious responsibility that God gives us. The biggest problem continually confronting all mankind is to be able to effectively pass on the things needed so that the kids can continue to pass it along. It usually breaks down in 3 generations or less. Raising kids in love is our primary obligation to God. Except for God, Himself, everything else is a far distant 2nd, in comparison with our kids. And here is the payoff. If you raise them well, you have a real merit in the eyes of God. Further, you have accomplished something few manage to ever do. 3rd, there is the big payoff from the kids, themselves. They happiness, their joy, their love, and their success are also yours. You truly have something to be proud of.

One of the saddest commentaries on human society is that life is treated with so little value and concern. AS John put it, if you can not love your brother (or fellow man) who you can see, than you can not claim to love God, who you can not see. It all comes down to love and love of your own little children. If our worship of and devotion to God means anything at all, then we must give our kids the love and devotion that God requires of us to give. All else is meaningless if we fail in this.

I have seen people who devote themselves to the Bible and their church or religion. Some even go door to door. But they often neglect their kids in turn. According to Paul, a man who does not provide for his own (ignores or slights his own) is worse than a man without faith. Such a man has disowned the faith. So our entire faith can hang in the balance. Why some should not want to spend as much time with their kids as possible is a mystery to me.

You get out of life what you put into it.


Lessons They Don't Teach  . . . but should!
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Children should never grow up and get caught off guard. They should be well prepared for what to expect and be required to handle once they leave the nest or when they do leave the nest. Of course, there will be some things missed because kids don't pay as much attention when information does not seem relevant. But most of it will stick. Here are some things many parents shelter kids from and should not.

Money and Spending

Another very important thing kids need to learn is how you handle your life. They need to understand money, budgeting, paying bills and expenses, and the like. These are very important and almost always neglected by most parents. As a result, many young people get into serious credit card debt and start out behind the eight ball early in life. You also need to impress upon your kids the need to be responsible by being responsible yourself and making them responsible and accountable for what they do.

The best lesson you can learn comes from the Duggars, a family of now 19 kids on TV. Get out of debt if you are in debt, and if you are not, don't ever get in debt. Set your sights and expectations low and be willing to struggle in the early years or even your whole life. Many recall the days of their youth and the ease their parents might have had, particularly if you are a baby boomer or maybe a Gen-X'er. But most marriages started out with very little. But by the time we reached 5, it had gotten a little better. By the time we came to be 11 or 12 and observe more, things were pretty good.

When many marry, they expect to have what their parents now have or had when the kid was 12. They should know that it may never be that way again till God solves all problems when His son returns to right all wrongs. Those who seek God will almost ceratinly have a hard time as most work places today are ruthless and brutal. If you are a decent person who will not harm people, you may actually find yourself unappreciated, to say the least. Don't ask me how I know that ;-) You live in a wicked world. Brace yourself!

Responsibility and Accountability

For instance, if your kid does something wrong and offers a poor, lame excuse, do not let them get away with it. Tell them that is not a good reason and will not be accepted. As they get older and maybe drink too much when they shouldnít, donít go blaming the store or friend who might have supplied it, blame your kid and make them solely accountable as they truly are. If you allow them to place the blame on others, you are doing them great harm. They need to take responsibility for their own actions as you do.

If they later engage in sex, donít blame the other person, blame you kid for making a poor choice. It takes two to tango, right? In all things, they need to account for their own actions and decisions. This will make them ready and equipped to give account of themselves to God as He will not let them make poor excuses, either. People will respect and us and our credibility will be high if we are forthcoming with our weaknesses and failures.

People naturally like to dodge criticism and accusations. But Christians must be willing to face up to their flaws and failures in order to improve themselves and to please God. God expects refinement and improvement; in short, progress, be it small and slow or big and fast. We need to be showing we are growing. Part of Godly devotion is being humble and admitting our faults.

Talk About Sex

Another topic is sex. From the time they can talk, you need to show them how to interact with others in a positive and constructive way. You need to help them understand people and how to size others up and what to watch out for. You also need to help them try to figure out who they are. You need to help them find and establish a purpose in life and goals. If they are certain about who they are and where they are going, then they will better know who is right for them if they are looking to get married which invariably they will. And they will be better able to size others up if you share with them your experience. You also need to be able to do this yourself or you will be no help to them.

In addition, you also have to make room for and prepare for the day when puberty and interest in sex arrives. In fact, curiosity and intrigue about the opposite sex will be in them as soon as they are born. Donít censor or punish their interest and curiosity. Find safe acceptable ways they can explore it a little (such as asking questions) without doing anything serious. I think you ought to check out my article on lust and the one on porn for a more detailed discussion of this subject.

If you show disapproval and anger when they show an interest in the opposite sex, you will only force them to hide that behavior from you but you will not stop it. However, you might cause them to feel an undue amount of shame and guilt which would not be good or right. It is only natural and proper that they have an interest in the other sex. Just make sure they understand Godís requirements and to not violate His laws in those matters. If they understand that marriage is a good and acceptable outlet according to God, then allow them an interest and curiosity or they may seek it out in less desirable circumstances behind your back.

How you react to them about sex will set the pace for the rest of their youthful years. Also, how you, as parents, react to each other will also influence their attitude about sex. If you are very secretive about your sex life and relationship, your kids may take a cue from you and be secretive themselves. That is not to say you have to rub it in their face, but you donít have to make it a secret, either. You can politely excuse yourselves, explaining the you and mom want to be alone and enjoy each other in private. It they ask more about that, then it will be a good time to explain a little more. There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. It is not wrong, bad, or dirty in the eyes of God, if you are married.

Now many people complain that they are not having enough sex because the kids are always around and they canít get any privacy. Well, that is because they are not just talking about privacy, which is quite easy to get, but also secrecy, which is a lot tougher. If they would give up worrying about keeping their activities a secret, they could have a lot more sex. Sex should not be a secret. It is best private, of course.

But by not being secretive, you let the kids know without speaking a word, that sex is good and healthy and the right thing to do if you are married. It also gives them the opportunity to ask questions and you to answer them as they are bound to wonder what is going on behind those closed doors that is so private. And what if a child should walk in on you during sex. No big deal. You can stop and ask them to let you be alone for a little while. You may also have a little bit of explaining to do. Sex can look rough or perplexing to a young child so you, particularly mom, may need to reassure them that mommy likes it and it feels good.

Another benefit of not being secretive about sex is that you get to have plenty of it. Who cares if the kids are home. Isnít that what doors are for? Close the doors and do it. And donít feel guilty about it. Do it just for the fun of it.

Learning Fast is Important

Kids grow up far faster than any parent thinks they do. Our own childhoods seemed long to us. But to our parents it went by like lightning. It will for you, too. So waste no time and get to as much as possible as soon as possible. It might not stick at first by endless repetition and discussion will eventually work its magic. We don't have time as a luxury to take it slow and easy. Life can be cruel and nasty and kids need to know as much about it all as soon as possible. For be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Discipline

The biggest problem I see with discipline is that it is often overdone as much or more than underdone. Both extremes are wrong. First, the world has a powerful influence on our kids, whether we like it or not. The world does not have a problem with many things God strongly objects to. Your kids will play with other kids and attitudes will rub off some. Paul says we do not avoid associations with everyone who commits sin, but only brothers who commit sin without regret. You can not hide kids from the world.

Instead, you must prepare them to face the world for as Jesus said to his followers, "Satan has demanded to have you all to sift as wheat." We will all be tested to our limits. Our kids must be prepared for that. Many will try to shelter their kids from everything. This might be worse than no shelter at all. To be caught by surprise can often lead to failure. We never want to have our kids caught off guard or taken by surprise. They need to be ready to face things that will be challenging. If you let them explore a little and they begin to have problems, then you have a chance to see the exact problem and try to correct it. You get a chance to try again.

But if the problem is not known and not found out, it could end up in a very big mess when they and you find out too late and can not correct the matter than went too far. Keeping communication open is vital. Many parents feel they have to be strict disciplinarians. Not so! You are there to instruct, guide, assist, primarily! AS a back up, there may need to be some correction of an appropriate manner. But if you over-react all the time, they will just get good at hiding it all from you. I have an example of what I speak of.

This little article appeared in the Star, a weekly magazine/paper, dated Dec. 22, 1998, entitled ďNicole Kidman: How I talked myself out of doing drugs.Ē

She admitted that she was a bit of a wild child in her teen and early adult years but actually settled down and stopped drugs later. She said that she told her mother everything as she grew up. Her parents obviously had an open relationship with her. They did not imagine that they could control her so why not at least keep the lines of communication open. I agree. She would talk about trying or using drugs with her mother and her mother would just inform her of what they do to your health. Eventually, she reached Nicole with her non-condemning message and Nicole has claimed that she stopped using any drugs as a result of that.

She also recalled how her father would take her to modern ballet recitals as a pre-teen. The men danced naked at this recital. Her father evidently felt comfortable allowing his daughter to satisfy her curiosity and intrigue in a controlled way so she would not have to go and find out for herself in less desirable circumstances. Nicole says ďBut as a result of all that, I can call him at 3 in the morning and tell him anything.Ē

Nicole knew she could always be herself and not hide that from mom and dad. Dad did not have fear that his daughter would become a stark raving whore over night. He understood the excitement and appeal that the opposite sex would and did hold for his daughter and saw no harm in allowing a certain amount of that interest to be satisfied and put to rest. And for Nicole, she knew she could have an interest without censorship and disapproval from dad. This is a big step on the part of both the parents and the child. Accepting a childís curiosity and interest is vitally important if a bond of trust and openness is to continue.

Keeping lines of communication open can allow the opportunity for children to come back to God at a later age, should they rebel for a time in youth as is often the case. I donít say to let them sin under your roof while living at home. At home they should obey. But if they leave, allow them to leave on good terms, maintaining as close a relationship with you as possible. How open or relaxed you are is your business, but to me, the most sensible thing is to be able to communicate and reason with them, calmly, rationally, reasonably, without anger, hysteria or other foolish reactions.

Teach By Example

This is the best and primary way we can reach and teach our kids; by example. There is a lot more weight to our words when they are reinforced by actions in harmony with those words. For instance, we have already discussed this in regards to sex. If you act with shame or secrecy, then so will they. They are not blind or stupid and they are very observant. More so than you may ever realize.

When kids come to you with complaints about each other, you need to take the time and make a careful informed judgment, being careful to listen to both or all sides. Then after careful consideration, you can render your judgment. I have seen too many parents who got annoyed with the problems brought to them and they just punished everyone for being a nuisance to them. The kids will see that and think poorly of your attitude toward them. If there is a guilty party, punish him and him alone. If justice and righteousness always seem to matter to you, then that will rub off on them.

Never try to pacify them by telling them something at the moment and then not honoring it later. You must say what you mean and do what you say. For example, if you tell them to come in because it is dark and they donít want to, donít tell them that you will do this or that if they come in now unless you plan to honor and live up to it.

Your word is your bond of trust. If you do not live up to your word, your kids will lose faith and trust in you. That will cost you later so donít do it. Always say what you mean.

Teaching Self Sacrifice and Sharing

Altruism is the idea of sharing, sacrificing, doing things on behalf of others. It is best taught by example as all things are. But in addition, one has to be careful not to feel that they must cater to and satisfy every possible whim of a child and never let them suffer for want of anything. Every child needs to learn how to go without some things and to prioritize. We have all needed to learn that we canít have everything we want. The child must learn this lesson by experience.

They need to be encouraged to share with their friends and family alike. Selfishness needs to be worked on. They need to understand how being selfish will hurt them in life. You need to be able to explain the many ways in life that it can hurt and the Bibleís counsel to be unselfish. There are times when they may see some stupid little thing at the store and you have to be able to tell them no to frivolous things. They need to appreciate the need for self discipline or they will later develop bad spending habits and the problems with going without some things.

If a child does not have some limits set for them, they will not see any limits when they get older. We need to help them realize what they can realistically expect out of life. If we give them false high expectations, they are going to be bitterly disappointed later and have trouble coping with life. It will be tough in youth to learn this but not nearly as tough as it is to find it out later the harder way.

Self sacrifice will never come easy. It has to be taught. It is not automatic. We can not always have our way and that is a critical lesson to learn in life that many never do learn and suffer a lot as a result. Learning self sacrifice, just as God has done, is a very important skill and not to be underestimated. Making a warm, compassionate, caring, unselfish, and kind-hearted person out of your child is probably the single greatest thing you can do for them that will pay off in both this world and the next, too.

Avoiding the Automatic No

Never say no unless it is absolutely necessary. If you can possibly allow something, then do it. It will have an effect on their trust and confidence in you. They know you will give careful thought to any request and allow it if possible. They will come to believe that when you do say no, it must be important. And always give reasons.

I remember one mother when I was in my late 20ís. Her daughter asked her if she could go to the back of the boat of a friend we were on with. The mother, like usual, automatically replied no. But her husband looked at her and asked why. She looked puzzled and even mystified as if coming out of a trance and exclaimed in a kind of stutter almost, ďAh, I donít know, ah, I guess so, OK, go ahead.Ē But you could tell, she had never given it any thought. The no was automatic and instinctive. Lots of problems later developed with the girl as you might imagine.

If there is no reason to say no then donít. You donít like it when the boss says no for no reason, do you? Well, the same applies to your kid. No without a reason, sucks, period. Authority is not a reason so donít use it too often.  

Always Have a Reason

Never should anything be required or demanded without a good and reasonable explanation. To command that they do so because you said so or because youíre the boss/parent is not entirely right. That is known as employing authoritarianism. Do it because I am an authority. Authority is not a reason and never has been, unless you are God. But even He has reasons if we care to explore and search them out. And He has often given reasons as well. He has never been afraid to answer a challenge or be questioned by His servants or even Satan, in the book of Job, and elsewhere.

Always take the time to explain and help them to understand why it is the right thing to do. If you donít, then the first time they are out of your sight and control, they will disregard and disobey you. But if they have a good reason as to why, then they are more apt to obey you, even when you arenít around.

Patience

One must be very patient in order to take the time to explain, dish out justice, not react before hearing them out, or any number of other things. It requires that you have good self control and discipline yourself. The Bible says to be slow to speak, slow to act, but very quick to listen. If the kids see the word of God at work in you, they are apt to apply it in their lives, too. There is nothing quite like leading by example as I have pointed out earlier.

Being Realistic About Expectations

Your kids may sometimes seem like they are not listening or applying your words. Be patient. As kids, they may be inclined to not take it as seriously as you would like. But it is a mistake to think you are not getting to them. The Bible (Proverbs 22:15) says ďFoolishness is bound in the heart of a child.Ē They may even rebel in a big way in their teens. But fear not. If you have laid a good foundation, then they will likely come back to it sooner or later. They will not forget just as the Bible says (Proverbs 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

They may play around sexually or otherwise when they go to college or strike out on their own. Hormones can make idiots of us all. And there is a big world of temptation out there and the world has a powerful influence just the same. So we may lose out temporarily.

But as they get older, and start to lose some of their looks and begin to realize that time is running out if they want to get serious and settle down, then they will come back to yours and Godís good sense. And if they get pregnant or get someone else pregnant and have to start thinking about caring for a child, then they will get real sober real fast. I have seen it many times. There are other things that can happen in life that will get them to think. Your words will then come up into their hearts and help them to finally think sensibly if you have thought and behaved sensibly.

So it requires a sort of long term thinking and outlook, what the Bible calls long suffering, and is related to patience. Its seeing the big overall picture. Youth is a difficult time for any of us. You remember, donít you?

But do not take this as an excuse to let your kids sleep around in college. Ultimately, parents are obligated to help find mates for their kids as soon as they develop their secondary sexual characteristics. That might be at 15. It might happen at 12. But when it does happen, you need to act. Problem is, the government wants your kids from cradle to at least 24 or so. So they say you should keep your kids single and wait till after their education to get married or whatever. So you foolishly delay marriage and sexual satisfaction in the way God prescribes, in favor of the devil's preferred way, which way he knows, your kids will never hold out that long to get "laid."

God made the drive and desire for sex far too powerful to be delayed. You prefer to ignore God and yet call yourselves Christians. Stop telling God to go to hell, and start enabling your kids to marry when the urges take hold. This is how you prevent fornication and loose conduct. I got a whole big article on this subject alone.

Keep the Big Picture in Their View at all times.

Never let them lose sight of the ultimate goals of pleasing God, reading the Bible, obeying God, helping others, and making it into God's Kingdom. We must at times suffer and be denied in our lives in order to make the ultimate goal. Its easy to lose sight of.

Lots of Love and Affection

Being close, cuddling, warmth, patience, lots of talking, playing and related things are important. Time put in up front early in life will pay off big time later. If things are not done right early, then problems will be many later. The present always seems like effort but it actually cuts down much more effort later. A close bind of affection will overcome and avoid many problems. I can guarantee this one!

With these simple but practical things in mind you will do well. No, its true, you will not be perfect just as the rest of us are not. But you will likely do well enough to get over the hump and help your children live in harmony with Godís rules as you try to do.

You must realize that many Christians apply few, if any of these basic rules and that is why they fail so badly at times, and quite frequently. Most do not apply themselves to Godís word, never mind their kids. You have to get yourself together before you can get your kids together as I have stressed numerous times. But the rewards are worth it if you do.

There is nothing more bitter and painful than to look back at life with many regrets and too much wasted time. So donít ignore this. Do it and you will reap great rewards. For starters, you will be able to approach God with a clean conscience and heart and be able to give a reasonable accounting of yourself to Him. And you can look forward to a better world and life where it will not be the great struggle and challenge that it is at present.  


God Appoints Parents Over ALL
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I added this after initially reinstalling this article above after it was lost or destroyed back maybe around 2002 or so.

It is God who designed the chain of command and structure of human reproduction. With Israel, God appointed land to each tribe and family, so that all people and families would have land to live off of. God considered it a right and necessity for each man to have his own land to support him and his family. An inherited right!!! A far cry from today's world, no? In doing this, God insured that each new family would automatically have their own means of living and sustenance.

But along with this land, children would need many different skills in order to survive and thrive. These would necessarily need to come from the parents. They are the ones who train and prepare their little darlings to be, over time, competent and complete. But this completeness is not fully obtained as soon as they marry. The parents remain there to add further help and lessons, as those lessons become needed when the situation arrives. As well, grandparents and the community (something usually missing today) were also there to lend and hand and help as a couple being their journey together and begin to have kids and care for them.

We are sadly missing a good deal of what God intended and instructed. And we suffer as a result. But there is still much we can do to please God and raise good kids. Now as well, kids were completely dependent upon the parents for all things. Food, shelter, instruction, play, love and affection; everything! This was as God intended. The bonds between parents and children would become very strong. Being the source of all security and life, there would be a necessary dependence of the children upon the parents.

The parents would also be responsible for providing land and their sons and their sons' families. As well, it was the parents who would have to purchase a wife for the son, or receive compensation for giving their daughters as wives to other men. Parents would help the son or daughter to make a good decision in selecting or accepting a mate. And once marriages were in place, the parents could continue to help till the day they died.

As well, and not to be overlooked, parents, in their old age, will need their kids to help them and care for them. And children are also obligated by God to honor and care for their parents in their old age. The street runs both ways. Parents and their offspring each have a life long duty to each other. Neither abandons the other just because of age of some sort. Family is family for life. And communities are communities for life. We can not neglect our neighbors, or family.

We do not exist as separate independent units, completely isolated from other units. The world would have us believe that we are rugged individualists and independent, but that is a myth and a lie. We owe our fellow man and our families and they owe us. United we stand, divided we fall. Or as one boss once said, we either hang together, or we hang separately. The world emphasizes individuality and there is a place for that, but it does not want us joined to a larger body of people and networks except those approved of and controlled by the world. Do not be like the world or the things in it. No man is an island.

Today, the law says we owe kids nothing and that the kids must earn all things themselves before having them. They must buy their own land or house, find their own jobs, and sell themselves into long term debt (a form of slavery) in order to afford a brutal mortgage of 30 years or more and absurd levels of interest, amounting to 2, 3, or 4 times the price they "bought" the house for, if they can even get a loan. God never intended anything as unfair and cruel as all this upon a couple just starting out. It is truly evil what is done to new families.

But I want to draw particular attention to this fact. Though the world says our kids are on their own and are not men or successful unless they can make it on their own, even though the game is totally rigged so that you can not win or succeed unless you sell your soul to the system and compromise your morals and integrity and go along with hideous things; that does not mean that God absolves parents of their duties to their kids. God's requirements still stand. It is the duty of parents to do as much as possible to help their kids get established and stay afloat. This responsibility to the next generation belongs to the parents for life.

I have heard many parents completely deny any further obligations, once the child is now 18. This is not from God and God will judge all such abdication of responsibility with extreme judgment. I am just warning you all and cleansing my hands of blood guilt, since I know what the laws of God really are. My hands are now clean. Parents might be able to help their kids get jobs. They should be doing al they can to help their kids find proper mates to marry. Whatever the parents can do to help, they should and must. They might not be able to help as much as they would like, but what is within their grasp, they must do. A child is yours forever, not just 18 years. We all have a responsibility to the next generation and to all fellow human beings.

This extreme and complete dependence was intended by God to prevent "thieves" and "wolves" from coming along and undoing what the parents taught or from disturbing the bonds of trust and reliance upon the parents. God better understood than we, that there would be those who would seek to mislead kids, even as the devil pretty much misled a child in Eve, newly created when deceived. Then as the child grows and gets stronger in their own powers of perception and reason, they might slowly gain confidence and courage in their own ability to analyze and reason for themselves, after having been carefully guided for years previous, to reach this point.

If raised right, kids develop very strong bonds of love, trust, and yes, reliance, too, for as I said, they will still need parents and a community to continue to share the collective accumulated knowledge of the family, community, tribe, and even nation. AS children completely rely on the parents for their shelter, food, clothing, living skills, manners, expectations, laws, knowledge, and all the rest. It was all to come, primarily, from the parents. This would be the way to best safeguard and preserve all things accumulated over many centuries of experience.

If the parents let others care for these many responsibilities, then the kids see many different and competing sources and may not rely on the parents or will have more reason to perhaps doubt the parents, since there is less to lose and other options to seek.

Now Satan is no fool or dummy. He knows this arrangement well and so do his followers, those wonderful social engineers who seek to break down and steal our kids from us. Satan seeks to feed the kids 2 meals a day in school, in many places. He puts his own teachers in place in his schools in order to condition and regiment the kids to think and serve his "interests" rather than those of the parents and God, Satan's ultimate enemy.

A child is indeed, a gift from God, but also a very serious responsibility, for which God will demand a serious accounting for. For while those kids are placed in our care and said to be our own, they, like us, all ultimately belong to God. So we need to be the source of all sustenance and teaching, so that our children (RSV, 2 Timothy 317) ďmay be complete, equipped for every good work.Ē As well, (RSV, Luke 12:48) ďEvery one to whom much is given, of him will much be required; and of him to whom men commit much they will demand the more.Ē Indeed, (RSV, 1 Timothy 5:8) ďIf any one does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.Ē So it is the parents who should provide meals, education, affection, and all things necessary for a good healthy child.


Peer Pressure on Kids
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Peer pressure is a natural force put in place by God. We need to get along in groups and its only natural to want to fit in. Cooperation is a good thing. But with the fall of Adam and Eve, peer pressure can also be a deadly weapon and none has used that weapon more effectively than the devil. When kids are young, they can be very sensitive and easily misled by peers and peer pressure. They need to have a solid foundation underneath them before they face peer pressure alone. They need to learn principles and God's laws. They need strength and independence. They can not afford to be fearful of standing out or standing up to evil. So parents need to be cautious and careful about peers of their children, but also want to guard against being overly protective. Allow friends over so that they can be observed and controlled if necessary.

While being strong and not afraid to speak up, it will have to be balanced with being reasonable, fair, conciliatory. Jesus said "blessed are the peacemakers," among others. Many Christians do not like their kids hanging around "bad" kids and bad influences. My only concern is what they call bad. I recall one brat of a Christian family, which brat was disrespectful, arrogant, and stole things. But his parents did not want him hanging around two other boys because they used bad words. Compared to the brat, they were saints. Small things hardly matter at young ages. But if the parents spend adequate time with kids, their need for other kids will not be quite a great.

But having other ids play with them is actually an advantage. They will meet lots of questionable people in the work place in time. So they will need some practice with kids their own age as well. Good education, lots of love, and other such reinforcement will help them to be able to cope with questionable "peers." Don't be overly righteous says Solomon.

RSV, Ecclesiastes 7:
16 Be not righteous overmuch, and do not make yourself overwise; why should you destroy yourself?
17 Be not wicked overmuch, neither be a fool; why should you die before your time?

One extreme is as bad as the other. Being too righteous and too wise is not healthy or practical. If we try to be too holy and righteous, we will fail. This is one of the most important and yet most neglected principles in the Bible. To have our kids avoid any and all neighbors and others will bring harm as I see it. I have seen it many times before. But to just let them play unobserved or too often could also invite problems. Balance is always nice, is it not?

Kids will need tact and diplomacy in the world. But they need courage, strength, and resolve as well. Help your kids to learn a healthy balance between standing for righteousness and principle and yet being considerate, tactful, respectful and reasonable in all things. As Jesus put it, as far as it is possible with you, be reasonable with all peoples. Kids will not master those skills without exposure and practice. They need some peer reaction.

But where the world and schools fail is in recognizing that peers should contain a variety of ages and circumstances and in normal everyday circumstances. A school classroom where everyone is the same age and you and kids in general are not kept in line, is not natural or healthy. With educating your own kids, you can control the circumstances so that nothing gets out of hand or neglected. You can choose the curriculum, time, place and most other circumstances. That is how it should be.


A Brave New World
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Yes, I am being sarcastic. A harsh cruel world might be more apt. But this new world is one with far less around to help parents and much to make their job difficult at best and often damn near impossible. But God did leave us with just a little bit of room to pull it off. But it will require a great deal of effort, as it does in any war and we certainly are in the midst of a war now in the time of the end.

Because we have so much less, in that we do not have land given to us, nor a means of self support and are completely dependant upon employers for a living, our hands are tied in many respects. And since the devil has been clever enough to create a system whereby most of our time is spent working for very little wages and very high prices, we will have little time to do many things we would like to do for ourselves. For a fact, there is so much technology that requires quite a bit of knowledge and continual use in order to be effective that there are many things we would not and could not have time for.

At the same time, we can not make too many excuses for ourselves. There is much we can learn and pick up from. We can prioritize and pick the most important things we can do for ourselves and then leave what is left to others. There are some things we can not let others or or should not let others do. God requires that we do them. Teaching our kids is one of those things we must do and it is not rocket science or brain surgery, either. But I am going to suggest a few things that might really help save a lot of money and be much more effective than letting others do these.

I believe we are foolish to leave healthcare up to doctors and insurance. Medicine has long been in the control of governments and big business and with far less than pure motives and diligence. In fact, the Medical establishment, dare I say, Cartel or Cabal, or even Complex or Union, has every appearance, in my eyes, of perhaps trying to actually harm us. To leave something as important as our health in the hands of others, seems quite absurd to me. There is lots of info out there and, since medical costs are one of our greatest burdens, this is where we would save the most by learning all we can about health, diet, and safety and caring for those matters for ourselves. And it is also my conviction that we could obtain far better care ourselves and cure things that the establishment says there is no cure for, and at a mere fraction of the price that we would pay others to do such.

Another area that I do not believe we can afford to be completely ignorant of, is law. You would be surprised at how easy it is to learn the basics of law research, for the cost of a small inexpensive book and a little time spent at a legal library. And once you know your way around, some important areas to explore might be land and property law basics, employment law, basics of criminal law, marriage law and other such things that we are all apt to need sooner or later or as you become in need of those. But I do recommend at the least, since we all depend upon employers, to learn employment law for most employers today are not law abiding at all. Knowing this law ahead of time could help you avoid mistakes and avoid trusting too much and knowing what to do before hand.

As well, you can end up in many thousands of dollars in debt, even for being innocent, if you rely on a lawyer. It is often better to represent yourself, which you have a right to do. But you should know what to do before hand so that you are not caught off guard or in a situation where you can not do legal research such as being arrested.

There are some basics of car repair but as well, many apartments do not allow you to fix a car in your parking lot or drive way and some towns have zoning laws that do not let you work on your own car. As well, cars can require a number of specialized tools and equipment for which you may have to seek out a mechanic. But f you have tools and a place to keep them and the legal right to fix them, anything you can do yourself will certainly save you lots of money.

Some home repair is much more within our reach and could help. There are many things you might do for yourself, with the help of your kids and family. What you tackle and what you do not, will have to be your decision. But I notice a few things among the Amish you might want to consider.

The Amish have found that many things produced by stores are far cheaper than what the Amish can produce the same for, for themselves. Clothing is one of those. They do not make us much now. They often buy it at stores or mail order. Yes, you might make some of your own food. But it might be just as well to buy food and put your efforts toward things that will save more or make more in the long run. Sometimes the easiest things we could do are also the least time or money-saving things. Setting priorities and carefully calculating things will hopefully guide your decisions.

We have been lulled into having everything done for us. Someone else takes out our trash, kills and slaughters for our meat, saving us the gruesome task. Law Enforcement takes care of all our policy and enforcement needs. A law system does the judging. The odd thing is that most of those were assigned to us to do. We are supposed to handle law enforcement for our community, if we had one. The older men of the community were to judge locally. We should take care of our won trash and not have somebody else do it. In times previous to modern plumbing, slaves, servants or poorly paid workers would clean out the out-houses of the wealthy. We should all be handling our own dirty messes.

But having others do more undesirable work appeals to many. We have become very lazy and not very independent or self-sufficient. This is as the devil wanted.

But as much as possible, we want to be self-sufficient, independent, and not have to rely on others. But as well, maybe you can trade skills with others so that at least you do not have to rely businesses who love to pad bills and make you pay for their expense of land, buildings, and equipment when you don't need all that to change a tire. Those who learn to teach themselves and do things for themselves will be much more resistant to harm and abuse from unprincipled businesses.


Independence Is Vital to Survival
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I am going to assert what has come to be my view of things here.

We are directly accountable to God for knowing His word, the Bible and all that is required in the Bible. We can not leave this serious obligation and responsibility to others. Ignorance will not be excused by God. We must know it for ourselves. We can not leave it in the care of a priest, minister, pastor, reverend, evangelist, or any other kind of clergyman or church leader. Too may of them do not serve God. They have been bought out and their loyalty turned over to government and big business who encourage them to fight wars and often kill those who call themselves Christians. They encourage us to vote certain ways, give money, and support this or that, that conflicts with God's real interests.

It is our greatest duty to God to know and worship Him with our own faculties, our own minds, hearts, souls, and our own strength, diligence, and vigilance. We can only slight God when we do not use our own abilities, which abilities reflect those of God, even as we are made in His image. We must protect ourselves by not relying on going along with the crowd and standing up to wrong whenever we recognize it, and if need be stand against the crowd, even if it means rejection and harm, eve as it did for Jesus. I believe that independence is the most important quality that a Christian must possess.

Christians do not care about politics or fitting in with the crowd, or making everyone happy, not rocking the boat. Satan and his earthly minions, his servants among men, have sought to create a world and society that encourages us to not think and just go along with what is dictated by government, employers, the media, schools and the like. We are not supposed to make waves, speak out differently, or cause "trouble" by disagreeing. Many religions and church have gone right along with the sons of darkness, the world at large.

But as James says (RSV, James 4:4) ďUnfaithful creatures! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.Ē

With friends like the world, who needs enemies, right? We don't need to be friends with everyone or have everyone like us. We can go against the political and religious grain and serve God as best as we can understand Him with our own brains. God is looking for those who stand up and stand out from the goats, the weeds, and shine like sons of light do. So not only do we need to teach our own kids, but we need to teach ourselves as well, by knowing the Bible directly, and not take anyone's word for it in any way.

I notice that many who call themselves Christians will often belong to churches that do not entirely match up with their own beliefs. But they feel like they can not go it alone. It is not always necessary to agree entirely with a church but neither is it good to compromise on serious issues. We all want to belong and get along. We all seek to please peers to some degree. But the devil knows our tendencies this way and he has created a vast variety of clubs, groups, associations and other things to belong to, in order to try to gain a fair amount of influence and control over us. Just as our kids can be overly vulnerable to peer pressure, so can we.

So we need to be on guard against those who try to get us to compromise, not just once but many times throughout our lives. Independence is essential for Christians.

Now for those just beginning such a way, obviously, you can not make it all up now or fast. But you can start and your kids can pick up where you leave off and carry it all further. You can all learn together and be a happy healthy family who independently serve our God, who is certainly worthy of our love and devotion with all our heart and soul.


Related Articles
 John Taylor Gatto site and book
Marrying Early IS Important!
Neutrality and War
The Importance of the Individual Christian Conscience


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