Created May 8, 2001,      Updated Sat. Mar. 27, 2010

We can not control what comes up into the heart. That is what being born in sin is all about. Those things are part of our inherited fallen nature. They happen and we can't control them or the things in them. But when we are awake, can we really control them any better than when we are asleep? I don't believe so. They are in our hearts. To deny them and try to suppress them is dishonest and doesn't work. It actually causes us to obsess about them and create excessive guilt and drives us to sin. This has been aptly demonstrated and understood in psychology. They call them obsessive/compulsive disorders. We have to come to grips with the monsters inside us. We are sinners and God is not unaware of our inherited condition. So He does not judge us as severely as some of us judge our selves and/or each other. God is more realistic and reasonable about what to expect of us. It is time for us to do the same.

I bring this up because honesty is very important to God. It is wrong to pretend we are holier than thou and that we do not commit sin. If we claim not to commit sin, John (the 1st letter of) says we are liars. To pretend to be what we are not is to act and that is where we get the word hypocrite, which is a Greek word for actors. He, who confesses his sins is forgiven by God. He who does not confess will not be forgiven. We don't need to get too specific but we do need to acknowledge to God and to each other in what sort of ways there are that we all sin in. It will relieve a lot of people who might be under the impression that they are somehow more wicked or guilty than the rest of the crowd. It may not be so. And of course, you have read my article on Our Sinful Condition, right?

I am often accused of promoting the flesh or perhaps using freedom as an excuse for excess and sin. Many would have me discredited due to my other articles, particularly on prophecy, that really expose and hurt God's and our enemies. Others just can't see what my main point and objective is, despite all the articles in existence here. But this topic of what lust really is, is vitally important to many aspects of sin and sexual issues. Many seek simple, easy, pat answers to problems that are far more complex and deserve far more thought and attention than people are willing to give. They take the easy way out and just slander me. God wants to see true effort and diligence in our words and teachings. Most don't want to rise to that challenge. Its easy just to settle for easy answers that require no thought or serous study. But God will judge all lazy people who do not care enough to get it right, at whatever the cost.

I dare you to face what being human and born of sin really means for us. Set some priorities and be reasonable with what you expect of yourself or anyone else.

What is Lust?
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I know of many who will bring this up when I say it does not matter what you feel inside. I know it is coming so I will address that now. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28:

Matthew 5:28 "But I say to you, Everyone looking at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

What does it mean to "look at a woman to lust after her?" Is lusting after her a thought or does it indicate some sort of pursuit? I recommend caution for if we claim it only requires a thought to come up into our hearts, then all are doomed, immediately, regardless of the blood of Jesus. We certainly have no control over our dreams and we do terrible things in those dreams. Some might say that though it comes into our hearts we should dismiss it and not dwell on it. How many of you tried that? Did it work? I doubt it. As I mentioned earlier, that tends to only make us obsess about it. We can't control that much, either. Could it be that what Jesus was/is saying is more like what Job described in Job 31?

Job 31:9 "If my heart has been enticed to a woman, and I have lain in wait at my neighbor's door; 10 then let my wife grind for another, and let others bow down upon her. 11 For that would be a heinous crime; that would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges;

Job was describing things he could have done that would have merited attention and punishment by God. One was laying in wait at his neighbor's door, hoping for an opportunity with his neighbor's wife. He didn't actually have her, but merely attempting or waiting for the opportunity would have made him guilty. For had the opportunity arrived, he would have indulged. So intent is all that is necessary. Actually doing it is not necessary if the intent was there. Even in our courts, attempted murder is nearly as bad as murder. Proven intent is considered nearly as bad. This is what I believe Jesus was referring to when he spoke of lusting after a woman. Not lusting about but lusting after. It sort of suggests action in my mind.

Notice what Justin, the 2nd century martyr, had to say about Matthew 5:28. JUSTIN MARTYR, THE FIRST APOLOGY OF JUSTIN, CHAP. 15:

"So that all who, by human law, are twice married, are, in the eye of our Master, sinners, and those who look upon a woman to lust after her. For not only he who in act commits adultery is rejected by Him, but also he who desires to commit adultery: since not only our works, but also our thoughts, are open before God. And many, both men and women, who have been Christ's disciples from childhood, remain pure at the age of sixty or seventy years; and I boast that I could produce such from every race of men. For what shall I say, too, of the countless multitude of those who have reformed intemperate habits, and learned these things?"

Justin associates it with desiring to do bad, not just a passing thought or fantasy but a willingness and desire to commit adultery or whatever. We all often fantasize about things we would never really do. That is why we have the dreams we have where we find ourselves doing things we would never dare to contemplate when awake.

Tertullian in his treatise "On The Soul," chap. 40, had this to say about the same scripture.

""Accordingly the flesh is blamed in the Scriptures, because nothing is done by the soul without the flesh in operations of concupiscence, appetite, drunkenness, cruelty, idolatry, and other works of the flesh, -- operations, I mean, which are not confined to sensations, but result in effects. The emotions of sin, indeed, when not resulting in effects, are usually imputed to the soul: "Whosoever looks on a woman to lust after, has already in his heart committed adultery with her." But what has the flesh alone, without the soul, ever done in operations of virtue, righteousness, endurance, or chastity?""

Tertullian also connects this scripture as things that "result in effects." There has to be some sort of result or intention, not just a passing whim or fantasy but something that lingers and motivates, causing a decision in the mind, though not acted out yet or not acted out without opportunity. But a genuine desire to do something, a willingness, is the same as doing it. That is what Jesus was pointing out. An example would be if I saw a woman and determined in my heart that I would go with her if she would ask or if I really thought I had a chance. I have already agreed, even if I do not do it, perhaps due to her not being willing. Whether I actually ask or not, I was willing so I have as good as done it. God knows my thoughts. He knows my willingness or lack of it. True intentions matter. But if I absolutely would not do it but did fantasize about it; that is not the same. It if not willingness but mere flightful fantasy. No true intent to actually do it is there. It seems simple enough but most Christians are happy to readily embrace any old idea without giving good thought to it implications and consequences. The very best way to say we don't give an damn and do not care is to simply is to not bother to give an idea any proper and just amount of time and effort.

Let us look at some other places where translators use lust, lusted, or lusting in converting Hebrew words to see if we might get a better idea of the meaning of that Hebrew word in the Old Testament. The first instance I quote is from Numbers.

(KJV) Numbers 11:4 And the mixt multitude that was among them fell a lusting (Strong's 8378): and the children of Israel also wept again, and said, Who shall give us flesh to eat?

(GLT) Numbers 11: 4 And the mixed multitude among them lusted with a great lust; and the sons of Israel also turned back and wept, and said, Who shall cause us to eat flesh?

The lusting/ lusted/ lust that appears here in this verse in these two translations comes from the Hebrew word hwattaavah also spelled hattaavah. But lust here is not talking about sex, but merely with cravings, in this case, for meat. But if you read the account, the lust or greed for this meat was ridiculous. They went nuts for this meat and violated God's law on how much they were to gather of it. Lust here applied to an extreme appetite that went beyond what was appropriate. It does not mean that all craving for food or meat was wrong. Do we all understand that??? This, by the way, is the typical word that we translate as lust from Hebrew. How it is translated and what it means follows from Strong's Hebrew Dictionary and BDB Hebrew Lexicon.

Strong's 08378. hwat ta'avah tah-av-aw'; from 0183 (abbreviated); a longing; by implication, a delight (subjectively, satisfaction, objectively, a charm):-- dainty, desire, X exceedingly, X greedily, lust(ing), pleasant. See also 06914.

BDB Lexicon 08378 hwat ta'avah tah-av-aw', from 0183 (abbrev); TWOT - 40d; n f
KJV - desire 13, lust 1, greedily 1, pleasant 1, misc. 4; 20
1) desire
       1a) desire, wish, longings of one's heart
                 1a1) lust, appetite, covetousness (bad sense)
       1b) thing desired, object of desire.

I bring up the next scripture to show that the Hebrew word Hattaavah is also translated in a positive sense sometimes. Notice the word "pleasant" in the next scripture. It basically means appealing, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

(KJV) Genesis 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant (Strong's 8378) to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

This, in my mind, shows how translators see the word. They recognize from its use that it can mean more than one thing. Which definition is indicated depends on context. Keep this in mind as we go on here. The next scripture shows another word that is the root Hebrew word from which hattaavah comes from. It is hwaavah or haavah.

(KJV) Numbers 11:34 And he called the name of that place Kibrothhattaavah: because there they buried the people that lusted (Strong's 183).
35 And the people journeyed from Kibrothhattaavah unto Hazeroth; and abode at Hazeroth.

(GLT) Numbers 11:34 And one called the name of that place, The Graves of Lust (Strong's 8378); for there they buried the people who lusted (Strong's 183).
35 From the Graves of Lust (Strong's 8378) the people pulled up to go to Hazeroth, and they remained in Hazeroth.

Strong's 183 is the Hebrew word in English letters Strong's 0183. hwa 'avah aw-vaw'; a primitive root; to wish for:-- covet, (greatly) desire, be desirous, long, lust (after).

BDB Lexicon 0183 hwa 'avah aw-vaw', a primitive root; TWOT - 40; v
KJV - desire 17, lust 4, longed 3, covet 2; 26
   1) desire, incline, covet, wait longingly, wish, sigh, want, be greedy, prefer
                 1a) (Piel) to desire, crave (food and drink)
                 1b) (Hithpael) to desire, long for, lust after (of bodily appetites)

Please notice that this word is usually (17 times), translated as desire. Desire is not, of itself, wrong. But excessive or obsessive desire is, as well as desire for that which we are not entitled to. Desire or lust as in appetite or desire by itself is no sin. Graves of lust, which the KJV keeps as Hebrew letters and names, rather than translating it into English meanings, which is not wrong, but does not convey that those words do have meanings which it might be helpful for us to know. The name Kibrothhattaavah is actually two Hebrew words put together. Strong's shows their breakdown. The 2nd word is lust. GLT actually gives us the meaning of those two words where you can clearly see the lust. Kibroth-hattaavah = "graves of lust." The definitions are below.

Strong's 06914. hwath twrbq Qibrowth hat-Ta'avah kib-roth' hat-tah-av-aw'; from the feminine plural of 06913 and 08378 with the article interposed; graves of the longing; Kibroth-hat-Taavh, a place in the Desert:-- Kibroth-hattaavah.

BDB 06914 hwath twrbq Qibrowth hat-Ta'avah kib-roth' hat-tah-av-aw'
from the fem. pl. of 06913 and 08378 with the article interposed;; n pr loc
KJV - Kibrothhattaavah 5; 5
   1) a station of Israel in the wilderness 3 campsites away from Sinai near the gulf of Akabah

Next up is a Hebrew word that is more of a sexual meaning, rather than simply appetite or desire.

(GLT) De 31:16 And Jehovah said to Moses, Behold, you shall sleep with your fathers, and this people shall rise up and go lusting (Strong's 2181) after the gods of the strangers of the land into which they are going, and shall forsake Me, and shall break My covenant which I made with it.

The KJV says whoring in this instance where GLT says lusting. In fact, in the KJV, it is never translated as lusting, but usually as something to do with harlot or whoring (prostitution). That is to say, the KJV and its translators recognized actions and pursuit, not mere appetites or inclinations.

Strong's 02181. hnz zanah zaw-naw'; a primitive root [highly-fed and therefore wanton]; to commit adultery (usually of the female, and less often of simple fornication, rarely of involuntary ravishment); figuratively, to commit idolatry (the Jewish people being regarded as the spouse of Jehovah):-- (cause to) commit fornication, X continually, X great, (be an, play the) harlot, (cause to be, play the) whore, (commit, fall to) whoredom, (cause to) go a-whoring, whorish.

BDB 02181 hnz zanah zaw-naw'
a primitive root [highly-fed and therefore wanton]; TWOT - 563; v
KJV - ...harlot 36, go a whoring 19, ...whoredom 15, whore 11, commit fornication 3, whorish 3, harlot + 0802 2, commit 1, continually 1, great 1, whore's + 0802 1; 93
1) to commit fornication, be a harlot, play the harlot
       1a) (Qal)
                 1a1) to be a harlot, act as a harlot, commit fornication
                 1a2) to commit adultery
                 1a3) to be a cult prostitute
                 1a4) to be unfaithful (to God) (fig.)
       1b) (Pual) to play the harlot
       1c) (Hiphil)
                 1c1) to cause to commit adultery
                 1c2) to force into prostitution
                 1c3) to commit fornication

It could not be more clear in the above definitions how important actual deeds, actions, and behavior are and not just an attraction or fantasy.

My point in covering these things is to show a wide range of uses translators make of these Hebrew words. Lusting does not always even apply to sex. It is an appetite, but one that is in some way out of control. But there absolutely needs to be some distinction between normal proper appetite and desire as opposed to uncontrolled, extreme, unreasonable, excessive, or inappropriate appetite or desire that one refuses to bridle or intends to let loose. For after all, we all have and need some appetite for food, water, and sex and love, too. When is the desire or appetite for sex inappropriate? There absolutely has to be an answer for that. You need to come up with one before you can say that lust condemns even mere thoughts, impulses, inclinations, or fantasies. Admiring and being attracted to beauty is natural and not unreasonable. In fact, it was put in us by God. Shall we make Him improper for what He did? I think not!

People who do not care, do not put forth effort in the formation of their ideas. It would be as if someone was serving as a judge in a trial and did not care or pay attention to what was being said or presented and just rendered some arbitrary decision. We would find a judge like that to be wicked and neglecting the solemn duties and responsibility of his position. But as Christians, we all have a solemn duty and responsibility to give all the thought and care we can possibly muster to make sure our ideas and understandings are correct. Why? Because they could seriously impact people and affect their lives by what we think and teach to them.

Knowing that our words and teachings can have such dramatic consequences as respects guilt, proper conduct, and salvation, we never want to be found as being lazy, thoughtless, or careless about what we believe and pass on to others. For as James makes clear in the scriptures: "3:1 Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, for you know that we who teach shall be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all make many mistakes, and if any one makes no mistakes in what he says he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body also." (James 3:1 GLT).

Put another way, we want to walk ever so carefully when we are teachers for we must be aware that we all make many mistakes in our lifetime and mistakes in teaching have a more dramatic effect, so extra caution is definitely required when we profess to know and therefore, teach. To simply declare that all bad thoughts merit damnation is stupid and irresponsible and shall receive the utmost judgment, you can be assured. None of us can avoid them or even resist thinking about them at times. You have been warned.

Making Some Distinctions
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But consider this. Is gluttony not wrong? The Bible does condemn it. But does that make all eating wrong? If it did, we would all die of starvation. Obviously, we need to eat. Eating by itself, does not constitute gluttony. Gluttony is when we eat more than we need to, much more. It is when our appetites and desires become insatiable and out of control. That is when eating becomes a sin.

Drinking wine or other alcohol is not a sin. But drinking too much certainly is. We can overdo many things and become obsessed with them or get out of control. The problem is moderation and balance. When we loose moderation and balance, we get into trouble.

It is absolutely essential that we have appetites. Hunger tells us to eat so we do not die. Thirst tells us to drink so we do not die. Sleepiness tells us to sleep so we can rejuvenate. And in addition, God, Himself, placed within us a strong desire for the opposite sex so that we would be certain to marry and reproduce. That was God's will and desire that we do so, according to the rules He set out for us.

So having a desire for the opposite sex, or being attracted to the opposite sex and finding them desirable and appealing, finding their forms beautiful and compelling, or desiring sexual activities, are not wrong or improper desires. They were placed there by God. The problem is keeping them in balance and control.

If they get out of control or obsessive, then we have a real problem. That is when a healthy appetite or interest in the opposite sex constitutes lust. Lust is the extreme appetite for sex and sex activity. In fact, activity is the real essence of lust. Let me explain.

If something truly exists in your heart, whether love, faith, or other good things, or anything bad, too, such as lust, hate, anger, or whatever, then it will be manifest in your actions. What is in your heart will soon be in your actions. Notice what James says about works in James 2:14:

James 2:
14 What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? 
15 If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, 
16 and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit?
17 So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead. 
18 But some one will say, "You have faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works, and I by my works will show you my faith.
19 You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe--and shudder. 
20 Do you want to be shown, you shallow man, that faith apart from works is barren?

26 For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so faith apart from works is dead.

One can in no way claim faith if they are not producing good works, not to be confused with works of the law which are of no profit. James points out that even the demons believe in God and know Him as the only one. But they do not obey God; they shudder and tremble just thinking about Him. Knowledge is not enough. One must be moved to action. Action is the sign that something is in your heart.

So it is with lust. It has to do with action. If you merely have sex with your wife or husband, you are committing no sin. But if your appetite drives you to seek out others in addition to your mate, now you have lust, similar to greed. Your appetite is unreasonable and causes you to ignore the laws of God. An archaic word that used to mean lust was concupiscence. The "concu" is also part of the word concubine. You will come across it in the writings of the early centuries of the Christian faith. Concupiscence or Lust is not any inclination whatsoever or none of us would ever have a prayer in hell of being saved.

One should keep in mind that the Bible often makes statements that if taken in an absolute sense, would contradict each other. It is left to us to figure out that some things are only spoken of in a relative sense. When one considers all the scriptures together, then one can arrive at a reasonable conclusion about what God intended. It is that way with Jesus' statement. It needs to be balanced with other things mentioned. I wrote an article about interpreting the Bible that you might want to have a look at for more on this.

So if you would like to kill someone, then Jesus says you are in serious trouble and you need to get control of yourself. There is little left between you and actual murder. If you have a strong hatred, perhaps an obsessive hatred for a person, then you are in serious trouble for you could easily end up killing that person. It begins with hate and intense desire in the heart. It is the strength of the emotion that can be dangerous. So if you look at a woman so as to desire a chance to be with her, and would accept a chance if one were available, that would constitute adultery. You have already made the decision in your heart. All that is left is the opportunity. That is sin and that is wrong. Of if your feeling for a woman was not merely a passing fantasy but involved serious or intense longings lasting long past a fleeting fantasy, bordering on obsessive or compulsive, perhaps, then you could be in serious danger for adultery would not be far behind.

It is that intensity of feeling and long duration of feeling that Jesus was getting at. A playful fantasy about someone on an occasion could hardly compare. And usually, those who fantasize hardly keep to just one person. They often imagine several or many different persons who have an appeal. So there is little danger or fixation there.

We also have quite a number of different ideas about lust. We use that term in a number of different ways. But the way Jesus spoke of must have had the idea of intensity and duration, even desire and intent. The lust he did not mean is the one I might use if I were to speak of lustful fantasies of various women. This is not the same sense of lust that Jesus referred to. It is much the same for the words spirit or heaven, which can used to refer to a number of different things. Those lustful fantasies are short and fleeting, lasting long enough to experience a climax and then they are gone as is the case in dreams.

If you look at the other things Jesus condemned around Matthew 5:28, you will see that this is a common theme. It is what is abundant, that is, very strong in the heart that matters. Actions do not just happen. They start as ideas and plans in the heart that grow into actions. Jesus wanted us to examine our hearts and be careful of what we allow to grow. We will come back to this idea more, later.

But we can hardly confuse a passing fantasy with an obsession or fixation upon one women all the time. There is a definite difference in degree and duration. If the mind is fixed upon someone all the time, then we have problems and are close to adultery. A fleeting fantasy about someone's wife for the purpose of a quick climax will hardly qualify. The fantasy is quickly exorcised from the mind. Only the person with the desire of fantasy can know when it has gone too far. And that is why Jesus brought it up. We do need to be aware of our thoughts and feelings and make sure they do not get out of control. That is what he was telling us, for they can and will lead to worse things if we do not control them. When God's word says something is wrong, such as having another man's wife, then we must accept that and not allow ourselves to pursue such a thing. No means no, right?

I will only add that the appeal of a beautiful and perhaps charming woman will usually only progress to worse if we have some deep seated problems that we have not looked into and resolved. We need to take a good deep look into our hearts and find out what is causing such problem if we have them.

But as regards beauty, it should be known and understood that science has proved beyond nearly any shadow of a doubt that we are affected by beauty at the deepest level of our brains. Even infants show a preoccupation with beauty. We react to it automatically. Our brains do not distinguish between married or single, young or old, or one race from another. If they look good, they will make an impression and affect us, right to our core. We do not need to feel overly complexed or guilty about that. That is the way God made beauty. So it should not be any surprise that we might be affected by a beautiful, but married, woman. It would be odd not to. We simply accept God's command that we not pursue her. Find another to pursue, who is not already taken as a wife.

I believe that God made beauty so powerful because He intended it to cause all men to feel deeper and yet more gentle and caring feelings for all women, giving them all a special place and advantage with all men they come into contact with. This would, in theory, bring out tenderness and compassion in abundance toward a woman so that we would show her greater attentiveness when she sought justice, refuge, help, or whatever. That we are not always moved is the result of Adam's sin that we all inherited.

We mistakenly think that the only thing a woman's beauty stimulates is sexual desire. Not so! There are a wealth of subtle emotions that are generated. Among them, tenderness, caring, nurturing, brotherly affection, general excitement, inspiration, etc. They all sort of get mixed in together so that we often do not distinguish the many different feelings but lump them together in the category which is strongest and most prevalent, that of sexual excitement and desire. That is our mistake. We need to correct it.

Now some may try to claim that they banish all thoughts when they come up into their heads. Yes, they may, though I question it. Here's why! How do men dream up building and engineering projects? How do they write songs, stories, plays, or movies? How do comedians come up with their funny points of view and jokes? They all do it with imagination.

Our minds are able to play with thoughts and ideas and come up with solutions or creations. Our minds naturally play with ideas and images. It is only natural for our minds to play. It is an automatic process that we don't even have to think about. It would be pretty much unavoidable to not be aware of possibilities that exist when we see an attractive person. Given our playful nature, we might do a little playing in our minds in regards to the possibilities even though we would have no intention of carrying them out. But what takes place in the mind is not fully within our control. Desires can be, for brief periods of time, from minutes to maybe weeks, very powerful. But if we play with them in our head and give them vent in private, they will lose their power and fascination. What takes place only in the imagination is not harmful by itself. This territory is free game. We do not get judged for this. But if we cease to accept God's limits and start to pursue, then we have crossed the line. When God says no, we had best obey.

These are not the only things that might occur to normal imaginations. After Kleybold and Harris killed 13 students at Columbine High in Littleton, Colorado, everyone condemned the movie "Basketball Diaries" for inspiring the two boy killers. But couldn't they imagine it on their own? Really, haven't we all been mad at one time or another and fantasized about killing an enemy or 2. Really, I am surprised that it took as long as it did for some kids to snap and cut loose on others. It was an idea waiting to be fulfilled by someone who took their anger too far.

May I point out that the movie starring Christian Slater and Winona Ryder called "Heathers" also was a story about blowing up and killing everyone at the school. But because it didn't use the same scenario, no one criticized that movie. There was a similar sort of movie from about 1976 where a student was finding unique and creative ways to do in bad students. The movie was called "Massacre at Central High." How about Steven King's "Carrie," where she destroys the school and nearly everyone in it at the prom? Such ideas have been around quite a while so no one need blame "Basketball Diaries" for the Columbine murders. The human imagination is fertile ground for all sorts of things, both good and bad.

But if bad thoughts come up at all, then it is a sin, isn't it? Or is it just our inability to cope with them and refrain from them? I don't know since I have never been perfect. But neither has anyone else, so no one else can say, either. Besides, what they are doing is suppressing it or maybe even lying about what goes on in their own heads, actors and pretenders like the hypocritical Pharisees. But this often just makes it worse as many can testify from experience.

Isaac Newton wrote that “the way to chastity is not to struggle with directly with bad thoughts but to avert those thoughts by some employment, by reading or meditating on other things. He that is thinking of Chastity will always be thinking of women.”

What Newton is pointing out here is that trying to banish sexual thought and suppress the sex drive directly does not work. And he is right! So he says to occupy yourself with something unrelated. I might add, not only different, but interesting, even exciting, if possible so that your mind is sufficiently stimulated to keep you intrigued and with your attention ever alert. Only problem is that it will be impossible to do this all the time and never have it drop. There will be times of minimal focus and attention and the mind will wander and the appetite will arise and make its presence felt. This is just not something that will go away. Sooner or later it will get you on occasion. The thing is, it is not such a bad thing. There are far more important things to be concerned with.

I'll go even further. I propose that sexual appetite is something that is generated at a fairly even rate, with that rate varying in people where some generate more quicker and some not as much as quick. But the more we abstain, the more it builds, with or without outside stimulation such as seeing beautiful women around. After sex, most experience relief and satisfaction and the desire temporarily abates. But then it starts to build again. Perhaps enough to try again in half an hour or maybe not for a day or two. But over a couple days or so, it will reach levels that will beg for the appetite to be satisfied. So we need to nothing and yet it will still build. If we are very involved in matters that interest us, it will often cause times to go by without concern for sex but it will not last for long times. Eventually, we will have to give it attention.

This is why I propose that masturbation will be and is, an essential part of managing desires if one is not married. That is why I wrote an article on it. Newton could not easily avoid thinking of women. God never wanted us to ignore women. He wanted us to marry one and breed. He made it quite compelling and it worked. But if I am right about lust then we need not be concerned of fleeting fantasies or relief sought out in self stimulation of our bodies. It is harmless. Of course, I would say that marriage is the best solution but sometimes the best solution is not available and then it falls to the 2nd best solution to remedy the situation.

Some people are also in denial about what is really inside them. These are the ones who will resist what I suggest in this article. They are too ashamed of what is inside them. They need not be that way. There really isn't anything to be ashamed of. That is why I am writing about this. But it does take personal courage to face our inner selves. So this article will scare some. It's unavoidable. Some people do not possess courage. It is a gift.

So I hope it can be agreed that a bad thought coming up into our hearts/heads is not a serious matter. For one, I question if a playful musing about what it would be like to have sex with so and so's wife is really all that bad, anyway. What would be dangerous is if one allowed themselves to be overcome by the idea and started to plot a sexual encounter. That would be going way too far with the thought. Possibilities are always there. Playing with them briefly seems harmless enough. But we have to draw careful lines.

But even if a thought is judged bad, it is the natural result of Adam's actions in the Garden of Eden which Jesus atoned for with his death. So we don't have to feel overly ashamed or guilty. What is potentially dangerous is what we do with our thoughts from there. There are any number of options.

Still not convinced? Let me ask you, how much control do you have over your dreams? I have no control, myself. A lot of times, my dreams are bizarre and don't even make sense. I have no control over them. No one does. And dreams can get pretty wild, too. Crazy lustful sex can often come up into the heart and dreams. You do things in dreams you would never dream of doing when you are awake. I don't even like some of the things I do in dreams. Shall we be condemned by our dreams?

If not, then we might want to go easy on our minds when we are awake, too. The fact is that when someone is stimulating themselves and imagining some sort of elicit sex, it is something only taking place in their head. It is not actually taking place in the real world. I have already discussed what Jesus meant about things starting in the heart and leading to sin. The distinction is intention and degree. What is your intention toward someone that you may have in mind, when you are stimulating yourself? Would you really do it with them if you had an opportunity or is it just something you flirt with in your head to get you over the top, so to speak? That is the important difference in my thinking.

So if one imagines sex with a married woman, maybe (its not certain, though, and I would disagree) he is committing a small trivial sin, but not the kind that would condemn him in the eyes of God. If one has a sexual thought about a woman, surely you can not condemn him! For how long must he hold that thought before it becomes a great sin? What if I just undress a woman for only a few seconds in my head? What if one holds a thought or image long enough to get aroused and cause himself to climax in the privacy and isolation of his room, has he then gone over the line? Does the degree really matter? Are any fantasies at all, wrong? Not in the big sense in my thinking! It is just a playful imagination at work. It is a natural process.

But if a man starts to plot a means of getting to a woman, and later hung out somewhere hoping to encounter and ask her to bed, then he has certainly sinned in a big way even if he does not succeed at what he intends. Or if he thinks about her all day long, all the time, he is in trouble. But if things only stay in his imagination for a brief time, and there is no plot or intention, then there is no real harm that I can see. It is merely an automatic response to beauty that we are all born with.

I want to point out what Tertullian, a Christians writer in the mid to late 200's AD had to day about dreams from his "On the Soul" treatise, chap. 45: 

"The sleep came on his body to cause it to rest, but the ecstasy fell on his soul to remove rest: from that very circumstance it still happens ordinarily (and from the order results the nature of the case) that sleep is combined with ecstasy. In fact, with what real feeling, and anxiety, and suffering do we experience joy, and sorrow, and alarm in our dreams! Whereas we should not be moved by any such emotions, by what would be the merest fantasies of course, if when we dream we were masters of ourselves, (unaffected by ecstasy.) In these dreams, indeed, good actions are useless, and crimes harmless; for we shall no more be condemned for visionary acts of sin, than we shall be crowned for imaginary martyrdom."

Do you get it? I want to make you keenly aware that Tertullian was quite extreme in some of his puritanical views and yet he expresses what I do. Tertullian also suggests that we are not accountable for what might go on in our dreams, either good or bad. He also states that crimes in our heads or dream are harmless; that is, they do not condemn us. At most, these are the artifacts of Adam's sin and not anything more. It is not something we can control. Some might argue that we can while awake. But what ever drives those dreams also drives us while awake. Our minds will wander and day dream. We need not feel overly shamed. this is not the lust Jesus refers to. But some really want it to be wrong. They want to find fault with us if at all possible, while denying they do any such thing. They are liars, I can assure you, pretending to holiness that is unattainable. From these keep away.

Now for the life of me, I don't know or understand how anyone can read Tertullian and not get what I am saying. It is so obvious, isn't it? I do not see how it is not! Isn't the logic quite sound?

But does imagining sex with someone lead to committing sin? I really don't think so. I believe it allows us to exorcise (as in exorcism) something from our minds. It gets it out of our systems, lets off steam, relieves pressure and build up of the desire. I and many like me have found that when we tried to deny and suppress thoughts or feelings that came up into our hearts, it only made it worse and stayed there in our minds. Only when we stopped lying to ourselves and accepted what was in us due to Adam, were we free to rid ourselves of the things in our heads.

Jesus said in Luke 7:35 "Yet wisdom is justified by all her children."

What he basically said in other words was - that wisdom is proved wisdom by the results it gets. If you are bothered by the thoughts in your head, and they only get worse when you don't "relieve" yourself, then you are headed for trouble. ON the other hand, if something makes it possible to relieve pressure and make urges manageable and controllable so that we are not driven toward fornication and adultery, is that not a good thing? If it is much easier to behave as a result of masturbation; then I would say that self stimulation is proven to be the wise course to take. I definitely believe that. Wisdom becomes obvious. Of course, if it could be clearly shown that masturbation was clearly wrong in the Bible, then this would be no solution. But I know for a fact you would never be able to use the Bible to show it was wrong. Check out my article on it at the end of this article.

Really folks, we are talking about something akin to what we might call in the computer world, virtual sex and virtual sin. If it only takes place in the head, then no harm is done. It is like killing in a video game. Nothing really happened. And since nearly all kids have played video games and killed in them and yet most of them do not go on to murder, then we would have to conclude that virtual sin (if it even is a sin) remains virtual and harmless. We give what goes on in our heads too much concern. We have enough to worry about on the outside without getting all bent out of shape about what goes on, on our insides.

This would be a good time to reinforce my idea of priorities. In the long list of highest priorities to the lowest, masturbation would be way down at the bottom compared to fornication or adultery. There are so may more important things to be concerned with. Worry about the big ones and let the little ones be. We have enough to contend with in avoiding the big one and my 2dn important principle would be avoiding being too righteous about too much, and guaranteeing that you will fail in trying to keep too much.

When one considers these many things, pornography suddenly doesn't seem as harmful. It is what I will call a virtual sin. It is not fornication or adultery. It is a picture and you can't sin with a picture and what is in your head is not of that much concern. Yes, much may go on in the head but as long as that is where it stays, there is no big problem. And curiosity and attraction to such material is only natural. I can't find a whole lot of fault with such curiosity and intrigue. It sort of allows us to explore ourselves and our desires and curiosity without crossing the line. Besides, beauty is a drug. It affects us at the root of our brains, our built in instinct. We are drawn to beauty, instinctively. It is absolutely compelling. We either masturbate or we go get our mates and relieve ourselves with them. But we can not ignore that we are affected by beauty. We simply have to seek a proper outlet.

Was it not God that said about Adam at one point when Adam noticed all the creatures had mates that "it is not good that man continue alone." In essence, what God meant was, now has come the time to create a mate for Adam as the longing has begun to become strong in him even as I had intended, so now we must accommodate that longing. And God did and He said it was good!

So even at worst, if it was and is a sin, we still don't have lot to worry about because there are far greater sins to concern ourselves with as I pointed out in my article on "Our Sinful Condition."

Think of this, folks! For those that are married, have you ever imagined that your partner was someone else, even for a moment? How long did you hold the thought? Did you indulge it at all? If you have, and you take the strict stance that any sin in the head is wrong, then what can you say about what went on in your head during sex with your mate? You were an adulterer and are going to hell. You don't also want to be a hypocrite, too, do you? If you have done it, then show some mercy to others who might do something in their head. In fact, I would suggest that it is particularly normal to think of other women for we are prone to notice and be affected by all feminine beauty. I also suspect it normal that your wife might also think of other men while being with you. Instead of condemning each other, why not recognize you are both prone to this and it is not your faults and not harmful. Just accept it and even enjoy this aspect. Pretend to be other roles and people. Be playful and understanding of each other. Maybe they even both agree to some sort of role-playing. The things we play with in our minds are just that. They are play. They are not a big deal.

Now some will ask, shouldn't we aim for the highest form of conduct? Certainly we should. The highest form possible! But of conduct, not what is in our minds or imaginations. But how possible is it that you will never consider sexual things in your head? How much will you be able to resist or control what might go on in your brain? How likely is it that you will never be stimulated by what you see and hear? If you are like most, you will not have a lot of control or ability to resist, no more than you can control your dreams.

You might want to consider my article on Porn next for a further discussion of these issues at the end of this article. But now I address another aspect which I have just brought up and I thought it deserved much more consideration in how it affects the topic of Lust. It started out as a letter to a Christians site but it works here as well.

Lust in Marriage
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I saw an article on marriage and relationships that stated: "Keeping learning about your body and your mate’s!" Here was my thought: "It is more about the mind than the body!" Most sex takes place in the mind, primarily and only secondarily in the body. 

Lets get rid of the guilt and free our minds and spirits between each other to act out what would otherwise not be allowable and indulge the nature where it is safe, just as it does naturally when we sleep and dream. We need to get it out, exorcise the demons, so to speak.

The article also stated: "—Keep coming up with surprises to keep sex from becoming boring. Leave a love note on your spouse's pillow, light a candle, buy new sheets or change your position in bed."

I think that if a couple plays in the bedroom, allowing their fantasies to come out in this context, that they will never need the other theatrics listed above. If you always talk to your spouse in a warm loving way and the tender touches liberally given, along with talking and communicating, then the sex will always be good. You won’t even have to work at it.

But imagine how much stronger and more passionate and enjoyable a sexual relationship would be if each partner was open and accepting of the odd desires that other has and is willing to indulge them and play with them. That open honesty and acceptance of each others fallen nature we all inherit from Adam and not having to hide those or be ashamed of them. To not have to lie and pretend you never fantasize. To be perfectly or nearly so, open, you will feel a kind of intimacy and security that few others could or will experience. You will better understand each other’s needs by sharing this info.

Of course, there are perhaps still a few things that might offend. A mate who might have some latent homosexual desires, something that is not their fault but obviously could be problematic, might scare some. Whether one confesses this or not, one might want to be careful about bringing this up. But on the other hand, if their mate if mature in the faith and understands that such inclinations are not the result of choices but of things of genetic disturbances and perhaps events at extremely young ages that affect our instinct in ways one could never imagine.

The inherited sin of Adam is certainly a mystery. The flesh is delicate and easily disturbed and confounded. The flesh deserves compassion and understanding. How it works itself out is still beyond much of our comprehension but none of us has a lot of control over where it feels inclined or how. But since none of us wants to be judged severely by our flesh and its sin, neither do we want to be harsh with the inherited sin of others. For many, it is merely being able to confess and have someone who will be understanding and compassionate and not ascribe blame to them personally and be understanding of what they struggle with.

We imagine that some sins are worse than others. But all sin is sin and brings death. Any sin condemns us and we only avoid the condemnation because of the blood of the Christ. But each person struggles over their own particular sinful inclinations and can be better helped if they can talk about their struggle and have someone listen without condemnation and with understanding and acceptance of the sin that exists within their mate, as long as it is not breached by actually doing the sin.

It is one thing to say we have sin. But we all get very nervous about actually admitting specifically what sin we have. And we all have lots of it. But what we do not admit or confront can really hurt us. If we do not admit it to ourselves, then we are in denial and it might very well catch up to us. Somewhere, with someone, it helps to have a confidant that we can go to and confess our sins, that is, our inclinations that we struggle with.

If we admit them, then we can better find strategies to cope with and handle them. A mate is a perfect sort of confidant for this type of thing. And just as we can not control our dreams and where they go, we can not control what comes up into our hearts, our minds. We can not always banish it as we would like, either. Suppression does not work. But the bedroom of a couple and what takes place between a couple is their own private affair, as it should be. They can confess to each other and even indulge the fantasies with each other that they might otherwise have to restrain.

It is an outlet, a release of our sinful nature, so that it does not build and get to be too much to try to hold in and deny. Conventional Christian wisdom says we must not admit and give vent to sinful inclinations. But I challenge that “wisdom” and doctrinal interpretation and would insist, supported by psychological studies and experience as well, and, I believe, also supported by Scriptural wisdom as well.

I believe that if one can imagine a sin and can carry it out in some manner that is not a sin, such as sex with your partner, then the “sin” of their inclination of the mind, which the Bible calls the flesh, can be indulged indirectly and released so that it does not build. Sin tends to build and accumulate over time. Every once in a while it has to be vented, released, exorcised. The “desire” is fused together with sexual drives and urges. The 2 are not separate or distinguishable. So masturbation or sex with your husband or wife can be the outlet by which the sinful inclinations can be given an outlet and release so that they are never allowed to build to dangerous levels.

Earthquakes happen because pressure builds in the tectonic plates till the pressure gets to be too much and it snaps and releases that violent energy in the form of an earthquake of various magnitudes.

Sin is like that, too. It build and if we do not siphon off pressure before it gets to be too much, then we have spiritual earthquakes in our souls and disaster results. It is learning the method of controlling sin and bring it to manageable levels so that it does not all burst out at once in a frenzy. Married couples can be of great help to each other in enabling each other to release some of this fleshly tendency stuff so that we are not in danger of having the pent up inclinations get too overpowering. I understand this is not even something that many would ever consider as possible yet I believe the wisdom of it is flawless and our understanding of lust is very flawed and has been for far too many years. The wrong must be righted and now, not later.

Jesus said that the sons of this age, the sons of darkness, are wiser, in a practical sense, that as are the sons of light. The Sons of light get hung up on things that are not actually the real essence of what we are truly dealing with. Once we truly understand what we are dealing with and approach it from a more practical and merciful angle, we can better cope with sin and with unhappy or frustrating marriages.

Treat the Cause, Not the Symptom
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Part of why marriage has become so difficult is that we are not really addressing the cause as much as the symptom. We are not treating the real problem and situation. So, to no surprise, we are not having good success because we are not prescribing the right treatment to the right place. We have run and hid from sin rather than face it head on. We keep it buried and suppressed rather than bringing it into the light and letting the rays of light illuminate the solution to the darkness within. We are sons of light and should act like it. Darkness if not befitting or becoming in us.

Our sin is nothing to be ashamed of and hide. We should bring it out into the open and learn to deal with it properly. Jesus paid for our inherited sin. It is bought and paid for. It is not our fault. But we still have to deal with it until Christ returns to claim us and restore us to a lean pure perfect condition, free of sin. Till that time, we must learn to cope with sin by bring it into the light and handling it, managing it, properly.

When we take a hot pan out of the oven, we wear mittens so we do not get burned, right? Likewise, there is a proper way to handle sin so that it does not burn us or get the best of us. At the same time, we do not let the sin come out in the wrong way. We find a unique way to let it out without serious damage.

Christ will fix our hearts and inclinations someday. Till then, we have to find ways that we can diffuse the sin so that it does not become a monster we can no longer control. Practical wisdom. That is what we seek. we want to bring sin into manageable levels that will allow us to be relatively free; free of serious sin but not absolutely free of any sin, for we would have to be perfect and that is just not possible. Anyone who says it is, is a liar and a heretic of the worst kind.

I pray and I beg that you approach as many wise and respected spiritual leaders of Biblical knowledge and marriage counselors as well and see take a good close look at what I suggest. I say that lust as Jesus referred to it, does have to do with action and pursuit of the real thing, even if it does not lead to success. Action and pursuit of real tangible adultery, not having imaginary adultery with your wife as your “accomplice” is the real danger. One who pursues the real thing has already sinned, even if they did not succeed at it. That they tried or asked, is sin, even if the one they asked, refused.

But if your wife pretends to be Mrs. Jones, or just some stranger on the street, then it is merely a playful fantasy between the 2 and which concerns no one else and they should not be discussing or promoting open knowledge of such things as if it was something to brag about.

A couple can safely let out the things that bubble up into our consciousness and allow them a safe release into the air, so to speak, where they can do no harm and leave the person relived and safe for a while till it begins to build again, even as normal health sexual desire does.

But this level of honesty and intimacy requires that both partners fully recognize the sin we all carry around at that it is no person slight to them or a result of any deficiency in them. It is sin that we do not control as it comes up into our hearts and it is best to allow it a release so that it does not build. Couples represent a tremendous protection and salvation to each other if they can accept this understanding of sin. They can now open up to each other as never before and give to each other as never before.

I do not have a shred of doubt that most all problems in a marriage can disappear when we finally treat sin as it truly ought to be treated. Again, we struggle because we have mishandled this sin for so long, by reason of a doctrinal misunderstanding of the words of our Lord and his Apostles as well.

But I do believe this sort of theory should be explored with the help of spiritual counselors who know the Bible well and can help a couple come face to face with their natural inclinations of the flesh, what ever they may be. Couples may have problems admitting to each other what they find themselves inclined toward and a good counselor can help them keep everything in perspective. Some are bound to find this radical and scary. A 3^rd party would be essential in keeping emotions down and guiding people toward a rational understanding of the situation.

My opinion is that this is best handled with 3^rd parties at all times till things get pretty settled in and routine. AS couples begin to open up to each other and experience that profound and seldom ever experienced before openness, acceptance, trust, and freedom, they will be hooked and amazed a how transforming and healing it is. Many have sexual hang ups and this begins a process that brings it all out into the open to be fixed, rather than ran from and avoided so that it always remains a problem. As problems get fixed, everything becomes easier.

Perhaps you can get some professionals or pastors who can try this with some couples willing to give it a try, believing it to be the right thing to do, and working out the kinks and gaining experience from trying to drag sin out of the darkness and into the light of resolution and healing.

It is funny that many Christians seek physical healing from the Lord when the Lord has been waiting for us to wake up and come into the light of his real wisdom and heal ourselves. It is every bit miraculous as is the resurrection of the dead. But we tend to slight the healing wisdom of God and the transforming power of His Wisdom and His spirit. Some times we look for miracles in the wrong places.

After this type of treatment or “therapy” (counseling really) has been conducted enough, it could be unveiled to the broader public exposure and ministry. Time to put sin in its place and stop letting it push us around. Jesus said the truth will set you free and to no surprise, he was not lying. Literally, we can be freed from the worst effects of sin, with the help of a little honesty and courage as we face our worst enemy, ourselves and our inner darkness we received from Adam.

We should not have to go around pretending we are what we are not. The Pharisees did this. But we can not lie like the devil does. We have to be honest and admit what we really are inside and not be actors and pretenders any more. Lets expose our inner demons and cast them out into the light so that they can do us no harm no longer. God gave us a way to handle sin successfully, if we dare. The time has come for a new Revelation, a new understanding as we prepare ourselves to enter into the kingdom of God as clean and holy as we can be, by ridding ourselves of darkness and demons and letting light come into our souls.

The sin we have inherited or otherwise come by, is a part of who we really are, to some degree. We have to accept that all our brothers and sisters in the faith have sin and so do our wives and husbands. We must learn to deal with who people really are. If we have a car that does not run well, we may have to treat it differently from a car that runs good and is well kept. We might have to drive slower, turn corners easier, fill the oil more often, use a higher grade of gas, align the tires, and whatever else to get that car to serve us till the “great mechanic” fixes it up better.

Likewise, we are broken units that need special handling to work right. So lets see if we can not approach our sin with a better strategy that we have up to this point in time so that we may honor God by showing mercy toward our brothers and sisters by showing them love, mercy, understanding, and compassion as we take their sin into account.

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