Created Sunday, July 4, 2004

Why Fornication Is Wrong


Sub-headings:

The Bible's Perspective
Sex Not Primary
Protecting the Child
How Much Is Enough?

The Value of Discipline
What About Fornication?
The Bad Jealousy
The Nature of Sex

The Point of No Return
But What If . . .
The Hypothetical Condom
The Bottom Line


Related Articles



My goals in discussing sexuality were to get rid of extremes on both sides of the issue. A plague, in my opinion, in the 1950's in the USA was an extremely repressive and dishonest attitude toward sex and sexuality. It was very unhealthy for normal human beings and had bad results. It caused people to run toward the other extreme, which was complete recklessness and sexual freedom, which also has many negative effects on humans and social organization.

Today's wild abandonment of any sexual restraint has brought a bumper crop of problems that also need to be addressed as well as the nature of sex itself. So we are going to explore the purpose of sex, and maybe destroy some myths or lies on both sides of the issue and see how they harmonize with the subjects I have addressed from a Biblical perspective.

Also, while fornication is the said topic, I deal quite a bit with wife swapping since I had some tough arguments with some who support that on the internet among Christians. Their position is that its not cheating if you have the other partner's permission or you trade/share. But they are wrong. Even is the husband is not jealous, selfish, and likes to swap, share, or rent his wife out, it is still wrong in God's eyes and laws. So I deal with that topic somewhat as it also applies to fornication.

And after all, fornication is all unlawful sex, sex which violates God's law.


The Bible's Perspective
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Sex, although it can be had simply for the pleasure and delight of it, was created with a purpose, which was not strictly for pleasure. Pleasure was an extra benefit. This is much different from what has been taught in Christianity since the rise of Gnosticism not long after the Apostles founded the original church after Jesus' death by means of the spirit.

Gnosticism was founded on the idea that all physical things were evil and all things spiritual or other worldly were Godly and pure. This idea was much older than Gnosticism and was called the doctrine of Dualism. Plato had some influence on it, but it likely existed even before him, going back who knows how far. So since sex exists in the physical realm, of course, it had to be bad, right?

But it wasn't right from God's point of view. He called it good in Genesis chapter 1 and why not since it was He who designed us to have sex and commanded us to do so as part of multiplying and filling the earth.

But in order to insure that we carry out His commands and directions as He intended, He made sure that we would find that behavior pleasing and rewarding, just as He did all behaviors. For instance, we need to eat but eating can also be a pleasure. But that pleasure can go too far and we become fat gluttons which also has many negative effects on health, lifestyle, looks, social relations, etc.

So it is with sex in that we have an appetite for that behavior, which brings about mating behavior, reproduction, and maybe even cooperation and better relations with the opposite sex in a perfect world or otherwise, if we would apply ourselves. So while it is a lot of fun and excitement that we need not feel guilty or ashamed of, we also have to be careful not to go overboard and over indulge with reckless abandon. That could lead to disease, hurt feelings, unintended pregnancy that we either do not want or are not ready for, and who knows what else.

We will deal more with the bad effects soon. But what we do not want to forget is that sex is not bad or sinful. We should not be ashamed about it or embarrassed. But often Christians have felt exactly that. They don't even dare talk about it. How absurd that this should be the result of something God said was good and commanded. Can anything bad come from God? I should think not!!!

Be that as it may, sex quickly became a bad thing in Christianity, which should be no surprise to any of us since it was foretold that the devil would come along and sow/plant weeds, symbolizing wicked doctrines and wicked people promoting them, into the good field of Christianity that Jesus had sown/planted and corrupted the field. But Jesus ordered that the field should not be disturbed for fear that some good wheat might be uprooted with the weeds in an attempt to get the weeds out of his kingdom.

Jesus would wait till the end and separate them carefully, as separating sheep from the goats and then clean up his kingdom. So we await that harvest to come. But meanwhile, those who care about God will want to clean up their own house, even if they can not clean up the field of God entirely. So we will oppose any wicked doctrines sown by the devil and his followers.

Oddly enough, there were also those during the time of the Apostles, who promoted wife swapping and fornication among Christians as a liberty they believed they were entitled to. The movement is well documented among early Christian writers who came after the Apostles. Jesus even mentioned one such sect in the book of Revelation that refers to the Nicolaitans as well as others who promoted fornication such as a woman or two.

These promoters of these practices were condemned by the writings of the Apostles. But they continued to exist and do so to this day. Whether inside of Christianity or outside, such practices are absolutely not allowed. Why they are harmful will be explored, even though God and His servants forbidding them should be enough. But so that the wisdom and righteousness of God might be manifest and obvious to all, we will explore why it is that God forbids such behavior, which, to any who are honest have to admit, is otherwise and very exciting and enjoyable activity to partake in were it not against the will of God.

It is not because God does not want us to enjoy life or have fun and excitement, but there are many results from this sort of activity that are very negative and destructive which people do not commonly contemplate. We tend to see only what we want to see. That is not honest or righteous. It would be a terrible way to conduct a fair trial, considering only the evidence that we want or like, and avoiding the rest. God will not accept such a poor investigation into a matter as being righteous or acceptable.

Of course, I have covered all this before in my article on birth control, but since some may not read that one, I have now covered it here, too. I have one more point to cover from that article, too. It is this . . .


Sex Not Primary
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That is to say, sexual pleasure was not main reason why God created us to engage in sexual activity. The primary reason was to insure that we reproduce our kind. Sexual pleasure was used as an incentive to reproduce. We could hardly avoid having kids since the drive for that pleasure was so intense. So while it is not wrong to engage in sex strictly for pleasure, pleasure was not the primary purpose. Far from it, in fact. Sex is not some right. It is a privilege only allowed to those who meet the requirements that God has made for it, namely the rules and regulations bound in a marital bond, a marriage.

The attitude of many outside of Christianity today is that "its my body and I can do what ever I want with my body." But if you follow God, you can not do what you want with your own body. God tells us what we can or can not do with our bodies or whatever. We do not have any rights we want as long as we don't think they infringe on other people. God will decide if something infringes on others or not and whether it is our right or not. When we follow God we have to develop a mentality that God will tell us what we can or can not do and what rights we have or do not have.

God says we can have one person of the opposite sex, with whom we may have sexual relations with and that we must love and care for any kids the come about as a result. A married couple should not be surprised if kids come about after having sex because that is as God intended. We can not and should not give those kids away because we don't want to be bothered with raising kids after the sex is over.

Marriage comes with responsibilities and obligations from God as well. We can not pick and choose which parts of marriage we like, like the sexual pleasure, and which parts we don't like, like raising kids and loving them. We accept the whole deal or none of it. People who follow God can not tell God what to do. He tells them what do to. They can not pick and choose from His rules. We obey them all or suffer the consequences. We must take everything that God assigns with marriage or we can not expect salvation and deliverance.

People who advocate "free" sex among a group, even if it is strictly among Christians who are married, do not see sex as serving any purpose other than pleasure. If they also see kids as part of the equation, then I think they are missing or ignoring some aspects which is what I want to deal with now.


Protecting the Child
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It is my conviction that everything God created for rules governing marriage was to protect and nurture a child and look after its best interests. A child was intended to have a very safe, secure, loving, nurturing environment where both a mother and a father are there to also guide and instruct their child in the ways of God, to the end that the child will grow up to "be complete, equipped for every good work." [RSV 2 Tim. 3:16].

That is why a marriage of two people is so important. The relationship is important and must be protected and secured at nearly any cost. The child will need to develop intimate bonds of trust with his parents so that he will listen to their advice and teaching so as to be protected from less well-intentioned sources who might try to corrupt or mislead him. And he needs to feel secure about his parents and their continued relationship together. Should one or both of them feel like leaving or ceasing to care about each other or the child, the child will feel threatened and scared, not being sure if his love, security, and care will continue.

Any break in that security will make it difficult for the child to continue to grow develop without serious problems. Any stranger showing affection or attention to one of his parents could make him feel threatened or insecure, perhaps fearing that the stranger might take the parent away. And if the stranger is a friend of the family, it will make no difference. It will still be perceived as a threat.

Not to mention, the other mate noticing this behavior might also feel threatened in their relationship. Any insecurity they might feel might also be felt by the child. Now if one of the parents was actually having an affair with someone else, then certainly the betrayed spouse and child might feel very anxious and threatened. The relationship could be damaged or even eventually terminated. This would be traumatic for both the betrayed spouse and the child. And any trauma felt by the hurt parent could be and almost certainly would be passed along to the child in a negative way.

So a parent leaving would absolutely be disastrous. But even just the threat of leaving or possibility of leaving could have a very negative impact on a child and does. And any parent injured by an unfaithful spouse is bound to show wounds and hurt which will impact the child in a negative way. Any parent who is hurt and in pain, for whatever the reason, will have trouble attending to a child in a proper way without some additional damage.

So God, in His infinite wisdom, outlined laws and behaviors for married couples that would protect each other and any resulting children as well, if those laws were observed within reason. But when a couple, even out of mutual agreement as in wife swapping, carrying on with other partners, they open up their relationship to possibilities that neither might see or anticipate. They might have every intention of staying with their mate and only having a fling with the person outside the relationship. But as they say, the highway to hell is paved with good intentions.

They may imagine that they will never get carried away with other people who they have sex with, but one never knows when someone will come along who will really strike a nerve and the mate keeps going back for more and before you know it, they are hooked and eventually leave their 1st mate for this other person. It has happened before. And it is very harmful and life-lasting in damage to the child. God forbids the risk. And even though many might engage in this activity and never stumble, it is the wrong thing to encourage. The more that do it, the more bad things will happen.

And what if the mother should get pregnant by a man other than her husband? Well, the father might say "I will love that child anyway." Maybe he will. But how will the child be identified? What if the child looks mostly like the mother and so the father can not be easily identified, if at all? And what if the child should end up marrying someone who, unknown to him or her, is a half brother or sister? It could easily happen and if everyone were swapping all the time, it certainly would happen and not infrequently.

These various possibilities are not allowable by God. God went so far as to forbid two types of animal hair or vegetable fibers to be used in one garment cloth. Why? Because someone could claim it was sheep's wool when really it was camel wool or mixed with flax or cotton or some other combination, I imagine. A garment was protected from being confused. How much more should this seemingly small principle apply to human beings!


How Much Is Enough?
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Another danger is that if a mate feels free to swap around, how long could it be before maybe he or she is enjoying other mates without swapping or sharing in the presence of their spouse? Really, if it is allowable to sleep with another man's wife at all, it should be allowable in any circumstance. And if one makes a habit of sleeping with every agreeable married woman whom he fancies, he is almost sure to get careless or infringe on another man's own privileges when he is wanting the other's wife. You come home and behold, your neighbor is helping himself to your wife instead of his own and he left his wife at home so you have no one, either.

And is he spending a lot of time with her? Do you frequently discover them together? Is he starting to make a pest of himself? If you wife showing bad judgment? So many things can go wrong. Where do we draw the line? Some say, "you should only share when each can participate." That sounds good but since you are use to enjoying your neighbors wife when both couples are together, are you sure you will not be moved or tempted to help yourself to her when he is absent?


The Value of Discipline
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Discipline is often thought of as punishment. Indeed, it can be but that is not the type I am speaking of here. The discipline I speak of is self-control, carefully regulating yourself, either your body, your mind, your emotions, or all of them, to accomplish a certain goal perhaps. Practice is discipline. We practice so as to train our body to do and perform as we want it to in the right situation, such as in some sport.

Well, in the game of life, God has given us an assignment. He told us to "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and rule over the fish of the sea, and over birds of the heavens, and over all beasts creeping on the earth." [GLT Gen. 1:28]. Having kids was a large part of that assignment, at least initially, until more was later revealed by the prophets and Jesus. But the Bible later required us to be husbands of one wife and wives of one husband and what God has yoked together let no man put apart. Marriage was forever and sacred.

In order to fulfill this arrangement properly, we need to discipline and regulate ourselves. To do so, we must continually practice limiting our desires to one person, the one we are married to. If we are in the habit of giving in to the desires of other women, we will lose the control and discipline which keeps us loyal to our first wife.

God intended that every marriage bond be a sacred arrangement that would last forever and remain sacred and precious forever. It is one placed by God and held in place by Him and no one else has the right to dissolve such a bond, except God. Just as God reserves the right only to Himself to take a life, so He also reserves the right to dissolve a marriage. It is possible that He may dissolve some in His kingdom when it takes over on earth. But until that time, no one else has that right. The marital relationship must be permanently preserved. Death was the penalty for breaking that bond.

God does not have to explain Himself and His rules but really, it should be obvious as to why He so carefully protected and preserved the marriage bond. Wife swapping is not a way to protect something as fragile as a marriage can be, in an imperfect fallen world left to us by Adam. Children must be protected to the greatest degree possible. That is what God did.


What About Fornication?
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Fornication brings additional dangers besides those we already covered with wife swapping. With loose "free" sex in general, there is the added possibility of hurt feelings when one person is just looking for brief uncommitted thrills while the other is wanting a serious relationship. Or worse, if one lies to the other in order to get cheap easy thrills and then disappear, leaving the other feeling used. There is also the possibility that one who is used to having sex with anything and everything catches sexual diseases and passes them around. The result could be anything from a nuisance to a serious life long disease.

And then there is that other very nasty monster we have yet to talk about! Jealousy! There is that reasonable jealousy that is felt when your relationship is unreasonably threatened. Then there is the sinful jealousy that goes too far, beyond what is reasonable or sanctioned by God. Stalking is such a jealous behavior. A man is not married to a woman but because he loves her he stalks her and acts as if she did belong to him and he becomes ridiculously possessive beyond what would be reasonable, even if he was married to her.

There are many crazy people out there and you never know what you might end up with if you just casually sleep around with whoever, without growing up with them or knowing them for a while.


The Bad Jealousy
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Jealousy (the bad kind) is a very interesting condition. Sort of an obsessive-compulsive disorder, really! A distortion of reality where a relationship is seen as far more important than it is, or where there is a need to control and keep captive another person, perhaps due to an unreasonable fear of losing them. Paranoia could be said to be part of the condition. I am only giving it a surface treatment here. But my point would be that we do not know what sort of baggage each person is carrying around when we first meet them.

In the best of circumstances, we get to know people for a while before we form any serious relationships with them. This might be an employer-employee relationship, a husband-wife relationship, perhaps a business partner relationship, sharing a room or apartment relationship, or other such arrangements where significant money, emotions, and other commitments might be required.

Before we invest in any relationship, financial or personal, we need to do an investigation. No businessman or woman would ever consider an investment or company merger or numerous other types of investment or new partnerships without doing some serious homework and requiring legal disclosures. Any court settlement requires a complete financial disclosure and many jobs require background checks, references, etc.

This is done because you never really know who you are dealing with and we make the best possible effort to find out as much as possible. Make the wrong choice and you could end up bankrupt or lose lots of money or hire the wrong employee and have him come in with a gun someday and shoot up the office.

Now having casual sex may seem like a trivial thing to some but others do not take it so trivial. Maybe we have seen movies where an indiscreet affair becomes a psychotic stalker seeking revenge or something. I have known of real events that were not far off from that with guys and gals I knew or witnessed. One is playing with very strong, sometimes out of control emotions and instincts that can get very scary. Some people do not take any affair casually.

When one opens themselves up to a sexual encounter, they are not just having a sensation. Our deepest psyche is stimulated and sometimes disrupted. It is almost like catching a sexual disease. This "disease" is more of a psychological one but it can still be deadly or at least quite a nuisance that might once in a while resurface. These are the kinds of dangers we open ourselves up to when we just play around.

Additionally, when couples share partners in a group, you don't really know these people. You might think you do. You see them at church every week. But we all have public faces we put on, our best appearance to the outside world. But then there is the other more private and sometimes very disturbed side that no one would ever imagine.

Imagine that there is an ugly couple that no one wants to share with! Imagine the jealousy and resentment that might build in that couple. What will they end up doing? Squeal about your activities to the outside world? Poison the whole church? Shoot them all up some Sunday? Rape someone? Maybe they will just be mad and be a nuisance under the flock's feet. But that they will just sit by and politely watch everyone have fun while they sit alone on the side lines is not likely, really. They will experience hurt no matter how nice they are. Do we want to subject our brothers and sisters to hurt and let them feel left out of the group?

No, love can not do that. Really, we have to and should work hard to make everyone feel loved and welcomed in a congregation. No one should be left out as many are in the cold cruel world outside of God's house. Those who shine or excel among a group need to reach out to the less gifted among their brothers. Each member of God's family should feel like they belong. That is real true love.


The Nature of Sex
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I think this is where most people go wrong when trying to understand sex and sexual behavior. They really don't understand its primal force and nature. Sex is an instinctive drive. It is often the least thought about reaction we have. There is no thought when we see beauty. It is a reflex reaction. Studies have proven that even infants react to beauty, giving beautiful people longer gazes and stares than they do ordinary looking people.

It has been demonstrated by studies of animals that even in the animal kingdom, a number of different species are more attracted to or stare longer at beautiful humans than to ugly or plain ones. It is a universal instinct of all life. It even crosses different species and seems to have few barriers or exceptions.

Arousal and excitement occur without any thought whatsoever. Many women will confirm that about their husbands or boyfriends. I have seen a young toddler, a girl, too young to speak but be utterly fascinated and pleased with seeing the opposite sex, a little boy, standing before her naked while his mother changed him. It was pure instinct at work.

I remember my own first experience of sexual arousal, at the age of perhaps 3, over a 2 year old girl. I did not understand it. But I was experiencing something I had never felt before and did not grasp and did not pay much attention to it, really. But it was unusual enough that I remembered it for the rest of my life. So I paid more attention than I had thought, right?

Dr. Kinsey's report on male sexuality, though much criticized, was nevertheless truthful when it reported the instinctive reactions of even babies in response to sexual stimuli. So Sigmund Freud, also much criticized at times, was not all that wrong when he described sexual identity and behavior as the single greatest motivating and behavior shaping force within us. Though maybe not the only force shaping and motivating us, there can be no question that it is very strong and powerful and one we never want to underestimate.

Sexual indiscretions have often brought down men and empires or even started wars, or at least used as excuses for them. The trouble that can be caused by sex and human jealously, rivalry, and competition knows no limits. Look at what it cost king David! Sex crimes can land people in prison for many years, all for a few fleeting moments of pleasure. With such disastrous potential, we have to give it very careful attention and thought.

It is not a function of the mind and intellect, our rational thought processes. It is an instinct that we can barely control in the best of times and many can not control at all. It is like an out of control monster who controls all our behavior and can even influence our thought processes and conclusions. Often described as our heart in the Bible, Jeremiah calls it treacherous, desperate, and hard to know.

So while our rational intellect may want to please God, our heart, our instinct, our flesh, so to speak, wants to act contrary to God and seek out its own satisfaction and pleasure. It is as if we had a war going on within us for control. And that is exactly how Paul describes it. So we always have to be second guessing ourselves and out motive when it comes to our behavior, especially our sexual behavior. Our instinct works against us quite a bit.

Now what that means for us is that when we are attracted by someone, enticed by someone, aroused by someone, excited or driven nuts by someone, we are experiencing our instinct coming to life. It may be somewhat out of control due to what Adam did in the garden of Eden. That is why we lost control of ourselves. But to some degree, we can control the beast, although it will always be with a struggle, for sure.

But it should also be understood that sex is by nature something in which we lose control. Losing control, that is, giving up our intellect and surrendering control to our emotions and instincts, when it is OK to do so, as it is when a couple is married, is what sexual pleasure is all about. Losing ourselves in the moment and the excitement yields wonderful feelings and sensations. In fact, sex is hard if not impossible to experience without losing control and giving in to the passion.


The Point of No Return
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Yes, there is a point of no return, a point when we will not return, when emotions and desires have gained too much of an upper hand in the matter. The spirit goes forth and does not come back. But there was some point when we did have some control and could have put on the brakes. If we are married and committed to each other, then there is no need to hold back. But if there is not an agreement and commitment, then there is plenty of need to hold back if we are to please God. But we are going to suspend for just a moment, the idea that God forbids sex without marriage and explore what happens.

So let us pretend that we just let loose and give in every time we have an urge and the other person is willing. What then? Sex in the streets? In front of kids? On restaurant tables? Bathroom stalls or sinks?

Will it be only with single people or married, too? How will their mates take it? Are you sure he or she is old enough? Will you care once your past the point? Do they have any diseases? Are they going to tell you once they are past the point? Would you tell them if you wanted them bad enough even though you were diseased, sexually speaking? Will they have the same understanding you do? Will they expect more after? Will you? Will they or you feel hurt or used? There are so many things that could happen that are negative.

This comes back to that idea of discipline that I mentioned earlier. Solomon stated in 
Ecclesiastes 3:1 "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."
There is a proper time and place for sex. It is a desire that requires some control even as our appetite for food requires control. There could be some danger in not learning some control and discipline in regards to sex. It is worth thinking about, anyway.


But What If . . .
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Someone asks, "What if we only allow swapping under certain conditions, carefully controlled conditions." To me, that is like trying to control a hurricane or an earthquake. How do you control a force which knows no control and can rage like a forest fire and can not be put out. Can you afford to ever let it get started?

Given that sex can happen quite easily and unexpectedly, the only way to prevent it and maintain control over it is to take great measures to avoid situations that might progress to sex. We need to establish clear lines of distinction and boundaries that insure proper conduct. I will explain. But without these boundaries, temptation will prevail and the sex will not take place with care.

For instance, suppose the group decides that birth control should be used when engaging in group sex or swapping, or when encounters are just between 2 people not married to each other. What happens when they are "in the mood" and have lost any intellectual desire to put on the brakes until birth control is found or obtained? They proceed without the birth control. It happens to many people all the time. Many women in their 30's and 40's will become unexpectedly and unwantedly pregnant because they got swept away in the moment and could not bear to stop or say no. Remember, sex is not rational thought process, it is pure out of control emotion and instinctual joy and ecstasy, without morals, brains, or conscience.

If we want to exercise any control or restraint at all, we must plan well in advance so we don't end up supercharged and out of control like a runaway freight train that lost its brakes and will not be stopped. There is the key advanced planning. Whatever we intend, the decision must be made in advance. So we must anticipate a circumstance and avoid ones which could place us in dangerous temptation and allow the ones that are OK with God.

If we are used to enjoying the neighbor's wife under certain circumstances, how likely is it we will avoid her in other circumstances that might be convenient. If we become familiar in a sexual way with someone, the barriers are just not there that should be there. We are too used to enjoying her barrier free. It is not in our hearts to resist someone that we can not help but feel good about and perhaps have a certain amount of love for. We are apt to forget or ignore the lack of birth control or respect for our neighbor who might be home shortly and we proceed with our lust.

If we slip with our wife, no big deal since that is OK, and we accepted that this might happen as God intended it would. But to slip with the neighbor's wife may not be appreciated by our neighbor. Maybe he has a particularly attractive and pleasant wife that the whole neighborhood of men seems to like. Maybe he ends up with more kids than he can handle. Lots of things could happen. But most of all, God forbids that kind of thing.


The Hypothetical Condom
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I use this illustration to highlight the possible problems with sexual promiscuity otherwise called fornication in the Bible, which would include wife swapping. Suppose there were this magical hypothetical condom that was 100% failsafe. It always worked and never broke. Imagine that you could not even feel it on so the sensation was just like you weren't wearing anything. And it blocked all disease as well in the genital area. It removed all physical dangers and consequences of sex. What would we have left?

What is left are the psychological consequences, spoken of quite a bit already. Hurt feelings, jealousy, lost lovers to another person, kids left unattended and cared for. Lots of psychological damage which only created more, and compounds until everyone is so full of hurt and wounds that hardly anyone can function decently without hurting and harming everyone else.

It has to be understood that sex, being such a primeval force in us, is very powerful, even unimaginably so. We all should know the problems it has often caused families and kingdoms. The opposite sex can really get to our hearts, even if we did not plan on them doing so. Often we do not know what our weaknesses and vulnerabilities are. Maybe we are a little more disturbed than we may realize. We might find out too late.

Sex is like a very explosive and volatile chemical that can go off so easily and do so much harm. Such a dangerous and powerful force has to be very carefully handled and controlled. So God put in place rules and restrictions that would keep sex with its powerful effects in their proper place carefully controlled in a proper disciplined relationship with only one partner whom we keep for life. And given that we were suppose to live forever, we stayed married to the same person forever, unless God should decide otherwise. Only He can dissolve and change a relationship, if He should ever see that as a good thing.


The Bottom Line
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Even if I have got everything wrong here and one feels they can refute what I speculate, what remains is that God does condemn fornication and adultery, which is sex with another person's partner, even if they give you permission. Only God can do that.

But as I see it, God intended for 2 people to grow together and become one, so to speak. They do not become one so that later they can be cut in half. But for those who simply are looking at a woman's beauty and thinking how nice variety would be, I can only say they are not seeing the purpose of marriage, which was not pleasure, but to form a solid relationship between 2 people so that a child could be born and raised in a situation of God's choosing.

The initial excitement and intensity of a new relationship was intended to help form the initial bond that would continue to grow on other levels so that these would continue and maintain the relationship after the initial excitement came down to reasonable levels.

But to some degree, we are all a little obsessive-compulsive and we get hooked on that new feeling and want to experience it over and over again. But that was not why God designed that initial excitement and thrill. There was intended, and was to be much more to a relationship than just some humping and thrusting and a burst of sensation to end it all. That is what we should be working on.

But just as perfection is far from us at present, so a truly great relationship that we would not want to end must wait until Christ returns to make all matters right. Many of us do not really know how to be good friends and lovers with our partner and experience them on a more meaningful level where sharing a goal and purpose together really means something.

So for the many who would like to experience such a relationship, I will suggest that you will have to wait till we are all made into the proper tools to be used by God for a good purpose whereas at present, we are really good for nothing thanks to Adam and the poor choice he made so long ago.


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